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Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly.

      — Much Ado about Nothing, Act IV Scene 2

History of Henry IV, Part II

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Prologue

Prologue

Act I

1. Warkworth. Before NORTHUMBERLAND’S Castle

2. London. A street

3. York. The ARCHBISHOP’S palace

Act II

1. London. A street

2. London. Another street

3. Warkworth. Before the castle

4. London. The Boar’s Head Tavern in Eastcheap

Act III

1. Westminster. The palace

2. Gloucestershire. Before Justice, SHALLOW’S house

Act IV

1. Yorkshire. Within the Forest of Gaultree

2. Another part of the forest

3. Another part of the forest

4. Westminster. The Jerusalem Chamber

5. Westminster. Another chamber

Act V

1. Gloucestershire. SHALLOW’S house

2. Westminster. The palace

3. Gloucestershire. SHALLOW’S orchard

4. London. A street

5. Westminster. Near the Abbey

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Prologue

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Enter RUMOUR, painted full of tongues

  • Rumour. Open your ears; for which of you will stop
    The vent of hearing when loud Rumour speaks?
    I, from the orient to the drooping west,
    Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold 5
    The acts commenced on this ball of earth.
    Upon my tongues continual slanders ride,
    The which in every language I pronounce,
    Stuffing the ears of men with false reports.
    I speak of peace while covert emnity, 10
    Under the smile of safety, wounds the world;
    And who but Rumour, who but only I,
    Make fearful musters and prepar'd defence,
    Whiles the big year, swoln with some other grief,
    Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war, 15
    And no such matter? Rumour is a pipe
    Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures,
    And of so easy and so plain a stop
    That the blunt monster with uncounted heads,
    The still-discordant wav'ring multitude, 20
    Can play upon it. But what need I thus
    My well-known body to anatomize
    Among my household? Why is Rumour here?
    I run before King Harry's victory,
    Who, in a bloody field by Shrewsbury, 25
    Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops,
    Quenching the flame of bold rebellion
    Even with the rebels' blood. But what mean I
    To speak so true at first? My office is
    To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell 30
    Under the wrath of noble Hotspur's sword,
    And that the King before the Douglas' rage
    Stoop'd his anointed head as low as death.
    This have I rumour'd through the peasant towns
    Between that royal field of Shrewsbury 35
    And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone,
    Where Hotspur's father, old Northumberland,
    Lies crafty-sick. The posts come tiring on,
    And not a man of them brings other news
    Than they have learnt of me. From Rumour's tongues 40
    They bring smooth comforts false, worse than true wrongs.
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Act I, Scene 1

Warkworth. Before NORTHUMBERLAND’S Castle

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Enter LORD BARDOLPH

  • Lord Bardolph. Who keeps the gate here, ho? [The PORTER opens the gate]
    Where is the Earl? 45
  • Porter. What shall I say you are?
  • Lord Bardolph. Tell thou the Earl
    That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here.
  • Porter. His lordship is walk'd forth into the orchard.
    Please it your honour knock but at the gate, 50
    And he himself will answer.

Enter NORTHUMBERLAND

  • Earl of Northumberland. What news, Lord Bardolph? Every minute now
    Should be the father of some stratagem. 55
    The times are wild; contention, like a horse
    Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose
    And bears down all before him.
  • Lord Bardolph. Noble Earl,
    I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury. 60
  • Lord Bardolph. As good as heart can wish.
    The King is almost wounded to the death;
    And, in the fortune of my lord your son,
    Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts 65
    Kill'd by the hand of Douglas; young Prince John,
    And Westmoreland, and Stafford, fled the field;
    And Harry Monmouth's brawn, the hulk Sir John,
    Is prisoner to your son. O, such a day,
    So fought, so followed, and so fairly won, 70
    Came not till now to dignify the times,
    Since Cxsar's fortunes!
  • Lord Bardolph. I spake with one, my lord, that came from 75
    A gentleman well bred and of good name,
    That freely rend'red me these news for true.

Enter TRAVERS

  • Lord Bardolph. My lord, I over-rode him on the way;
    And he is furnish'd with no certainties
    More than he haply may retail from me.
  • Travers. My lord, Sir John Umfrevile turn'd me back
    With joyful tidings; and, being better hors'd,
    Out-rode me. After him came spurring hard
    A gentleman, almost forspent with speed,
    That stopp'd by me to breathe his bloodied horse. 90
    He ask'd the way to Chester; and of him
    I did demand what news from Shrewsbury.
    He told me that rebellion had bad luck,
    And that young Harry Percy's spur was cold.
    With that he gave his able horse the head 95
    And, bending forward, struck his armed heels
    Against the panting sides of his poor jade
    Up to the rowel-head; and starting so,
    He seem'd in running to devour the way,
    Staying no longer question. 100
  • Earl of Northumberland. Ha! Again:
    Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold?
    Of Hotspur, Coldspur? that rebellion
    Had met ill luck?
  • Lord Bardolph. My lord, I'll tell you what: 105
    If my young lord your son have not the day,
    Upon mine honour, for a silken point
    I'll give my barony. Never talk of it.
  • Lord Bardolph. Who—he?
    He was some hilding fellow that had stol'n
    The horse he rode on and, upon my life,
    Spoke at a venture. Look, here comes more news.

Enter Morton

  • Earl of Northumberland. Yea, this man's brow, like to a title-leaf,
    Foretells the nature of a tragic volume.
    So looks the strand whereon the imperious flood
    Hath left a witness'd usurpation.
    Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury? 120
  • Morton. I ran from Shrewsbury, my noble lord;
    Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask
    To fright our party.
  • Earl of Northumberland. How doth my son and brother?
    Thou tremblest; and the whiteness in thy cheek 125
    Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand.
    Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless,
    So dull, so dread in look, so woe-begone,
    Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night
    And would have told him half his Troy was burnt; 130
    But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue,
    And I my Percy's death ere thou report'st it.
    This thou wouldst say: 'Your son did thus and thus;
    Your brother thus; so fought the noble Douglas'—
    Stopping my greedy ear with their bold deeds; 135
    But in the end, to stop my ear indeed,
    Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise,
    Ending with 'Brother, son, and all, are dead.'
  • Morton. Douglas is living, and your brother, yet;
    But for my lord your son— 140
  • Earl of Northumberland. Why, he is dead.
    See what a ready tongue suspicion hath!
    He that but fears the thing he would not know
    Hath by instinct knowledge from others' eyes
    That what he fear'd is chanced. Yet speak, Morton; 145
    Tell thou an earl his divination lies,
    And I will take it as a sweet disgrace
    And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.
  • Morton. You are too great to be by me gainsaid;
    Your spirit is too true, your fears too certain. 150
  • Earl of Northumberland. Yet, for all this, say not that Percy's dead.
    I see a strange confession in thine eye;
    Thou shak'st thy head, and hold'st it fear or sin
    To speak a truth. If he be slain, say so:
    The tongue offends not that reports his death; 155
    And he doth sin that doth belie the dead,
    Not he which says the dead is not alive.
    Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
    Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
    Sounds ever after as a sullen bell, 160
    Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.
  • Morton. I am sorry I should force you to believe
    That which I would to God I had not seen;
    But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state, 165
    Rend'ring faint quittance, wearied and out-breath'd,
    To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat down
    The never-daunted Percy to the earth,
    From whence with life he never more sprung up.
    In few, his death—whose spirit lent a fire 170
    Even to the dullest peasant in his camp—
    Being bruited once, took fire and heat away
    From the best-temper'd courage in his troops;
    For from his metal was his party steeled;
    Which once in him abated, all the rest 175
    Turn'd on themselves, like dull and heavy lead.
    And as the thing that's heavy in itself
    Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed,
    So did our men, heavy in Hotspur's loss,
    Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear 180
    That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim
    Than did our soldiers, aiming at their safety,
    Fly from the field. Then was that noble Worcester
    Too soon ta'en prisoner; and that furious Scot,
    The bloody Douglas, whose well-labouring sword 185
    Had three times slain th' appearance of the King,
    Gan vail his stomach and did grace the shame
    Of those that turn'd their backs, and in his flight,
    Stumbling in fear, was took. The sum of all
    Is that the King hath won, and hath sent out 190
    A speedy power to encounter you, my lord,
    Under the conduct of young Lancaster
    And Westmoreland. This is the news at full.
  • Earl of Northumberland. For this I shall have time enough to mourn.
    In poison there is physic; and these news, 195
    Having been well, that would have made me sick,
    Being sick, have in some measure made me well;
    And as the wretch whose fever-weak'ned joints,
    Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life,
    Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire 200
    Out of his keeper's arms, even so my limbs,
    Weak'ned with grief, being now enrag'd with grief,
    Are thrice themselves. Hence, therefore, thou nice crutch!
    A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel
    Must glove this hand; and hence, thou sickly coif! 205
    Thou art a guard too wanton for the head
    Which princes, flesh'd with conquest, aim to hit.
    Now bind my brows with iron; and approach
    The ragged'st hour that time and spite dare bring
    To frown upon th' enrag'd Northumberland! 210
    Let heaven kiss earth! Now let not Nature's hand
    Keep the wild flood confin'd! Let order die!
    And let this world no longer be a stage
    To feed contention in a ling'ring act;
    But let one spirit of the first-born Cain 215
    Reign in all bosoms, that, each heart being set
    On bloody courses, the rude scene may end
    And darkness be the burier of the dead!
  • Morton. Sweet Earl, divorce not wisdom from your honour. 220
    The lives of all your loving complices
    Lean on your health; the which, if you give o'er
    To stormy passion, must perforce decay.
    You cast th' event of war, my noble lord,
    And summ'd the account of chance before you said 225
    'Let us make head.' It was your pre-surmise
    That in the dole of blows your son might drop.
    You knew he walk'd o'er perils on an edge,
    More likely to fall in than to get o'er;
    You were advis'd his flesh was capable 230
    Of wounds and scars, and that his forward spirit
    Would lift him where most trade of danger rang'd;
    Yet did you say 'Go forth'; and none of this,
    Though strongly apprehended, could restrain
    The stiff-borne action. What hath then befall'n, 235
    Or what hath this bold enterprise brought forth
    More than that being which was like to be?
  • Lord Bardolph. We all that are engaged to this loss
    Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas
    That if we wrought out life 'twas ten to one; 240
    And yet we ventur'd, for the gain propos'd
    Chok'd the respect of likely peril fear'd;
    And since we are o'erset, venture again.
    Come, we will put forth, body and goods.
  • Morton. 'Tis more than time. And, my most noble lord, 245
    I hear for certain, and dare speak the truth:
    The gentle Archbishop of York is up
    With well-appointed pow'rs. He is a man
    Who with a double surety binds his followers.
    My lord your son had only but the corpse, 250
    But shadows and the shows of men, to fight;
    For that same word 'rebellion' did divide
    The action of their bodies from their souls;
    And they did fight with queasiness, constrain'd,
    As men drink potions; that their weapons only 255
    Seem'd on our side, but for their spirits and souls
    This word 'rebellion'—it had froze them up,
    As fish are in a pond. But now the Bishop
    Turns insurrection to religion.
    Suppos'd sincere and holy in his thoughts, 260
    He's follow'd both with body and with mind;
    And doth enlarge his rising with the blood
    Of fair King Richard, scrap'd from Pomfret stones;
    Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;
    Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land, 265
    Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;
    And more and less do flock to follow him.
  • Earl of Northumberland. I knew of this before; but, to speak truth,
    This present grief had wip'd it from my mind.
    Go in with me; and counsel every man 270
    The aptest way for safety and revenge.
    Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed—
    Never so few, and never yet more need. Exeunt
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Act I, Scene 2

London. A street

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Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, with his PAGE bearing his sword and buckler

  • Falstaff. Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water? 275
  • Page. He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy water;
    for the party that owed it, he might have moe diseases than
    knew for.
  • Falstaff. Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me. The
    this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to invent
    that intends to laughter, more than I invent or is invented
    me. I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is
    other men. I do here walk before thee like a sow that hath 285
    overwhelm'd all her litter but one. If the Prince put thee
    my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then
    have no judgment. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to
    worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never mann'd
    an agate till now; but I will inset you neither in gold nor 290
    silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your
    master, for a jewel—the juvenal, the Prince your master,
    chin is not yet fledge. I will sooner have a beard grow in
    palm of my hand than he shall get one off his cheek; and yet
    will not stick to say his face is a face-royal. God may 295
    when he will, 'tis not a hair amiss yet. He may keep it still
    a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of
    and yet he'll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his
    father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he's
    out of mine, I can assure him. What said Master Dommelton 300
    the satin for my short cloak and my slops?
  • Page. He said, sir, you should procure him better assurance
    Bardolph. He would not take his band and yours; he liked not
    security. 320
  • Falstaff. Let him be damn'd, like the Glutton; pray God his
    be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! A rascal-yea-forsooth
    bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon security! The 325
    whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and
    bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is through
    them in honest taking-up, then they must stand upon security.
    had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to
    it with security. I look'd 'a should have sent me two and 330
    yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me
    Well, he may sleep in security; for he hath the horn of
    abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines through it;
    yet cannot he see, though he have his own lanthorn to light
    Where's Bardolph? 335
  • Page. He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship horse. 345
  • Falstaff. I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in
    Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were
    mann'd, hors'd, and wiv'd.

Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE and SERVANT

  • Page. Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the 350
    Prince for striking him about Bardolph.
  • Falstaff. Wait close; I will not see him.
  • Servant. Falstaff, an't please your lordship.
  • Servant. He, my lord; but he hath since done good service at
    Shrewsbury, and, as I hear, is now going with some charge to
    Lord John of Lancaster.
  • Page. You must speak louder; my master is deaf.
  • Lord Chief Justice. I am sure he is, to the hearing of anything
    Go, pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him. 365
  • Falstaff. What! a young knave, and begging! Is there not wars?
    there not employment? Doth not the King lack subjects? Do not
    rebels need soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side 370
    one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side,
    it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.
  • Falstaff. Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man? Setting
    knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied in my throat
    had said so. 380
  • Servant. I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and your
    soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you you in your
    throat, if you say I am any other than an honest man. 385
  • Falstaff. I give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that
    grows to me! If thou get'st any leave of me, hang me; if thou
    tak'st leave, thou wert better be hang'd. You hunt counter.
    Hence! Avaunt!
  • Servant. Sir, my lord would speak with you.
  • Falstaff. My good lord! God give your lordship good time of
    am glad to see your lordship abroad. I heard say your
    was sick; I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your 395
    lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet some
    of age in you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I
    humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverend care of your
    health.
  • Falstaff. An't please your lordship, I hear his Majesty is
    with some discomfort from Wales.
  • Falstaff. And I hear, moreover, his Highness is fall'n into
    same whoreson apoplexy.
  • Falstaff. This apoplexy, as I take it, is a kind of lethargy,
    please your lordship, a kind of sleeping in the blood, a
    tingling. 420
  • Falstaff. It hath it original from much grief, from study, and
    perturbation of the brain. I have read the cause of his 425
    in Galen; it is a kind of deafness.
  • Lord Chief Justice. I think you are fall'n into the disease, for you
    hear not what I say to you.
  • Falstaff. Very well, my lord, very well. Rather an't please 430
    is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking,
    I am troubled withal.
  • Lord Chief Justice. To punish you by the heels would amend the 435
    of your ears; and I care not if I do become your physician.
  • Falstaff. I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so patient.
    lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me in
    of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your 440
    prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or
    indeed a scruple itself.
  • Lord Chief Justice. I sent for you, when there were matters against 445
    for your life, to come speak with me.
  • Falstaff. As I was then advis'd by my learned counsel in the
    of this land-service, I did not come.
  • Falstaff. He that buckles himself in my belt cannot live in
  • Falstaff. I would it were otherwise; I would my means were
    and my waist slenderer.
  • Falstaff. The young Prince hath misled me. I am the fellow with
    great belly, and he my dog.
  • Lord Chief Justice. Well, I am loath to gall a new-heal'd wound.
    day's service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded over your 465
    night's exploit on Gadshill. You may thank th' unquiet time
    your quiet o'erposting that action.
  • Falstaff. To wake a wolf is as bad as smell a fox.
  • Falstaff. A wassail candle, my lord—all tallow; if I did say
    wax, my growth would approve the truth.
  • Lord Chief Justice. There is not a white hair in your face but
    have his effect of gravity. 480
  • Falstaff. Not so, my lord. Your ill angel is light; but hope
    that looks upon me will take me without weighing. And yet in
    respects, I grant, I cannot go—I cannot tell. Virtue is of
    little regard in these costermongers' times that true valour
    turn'd berod; pregnancy is made a tapster, and his quick wit 490
    wasted in giving reckonings; all the other gifts appertinent
    man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are not worth a
    gooseberry. You that are old consider not the capacities of
    that are young; you do measure the heat of our livers with
    bitterness of your galls; and we that are in the vaward of 495
    youth, must confess, are wags too.
  • Lord Chief Justice. Do you set down your name in the scroll of 505
    that are written down old with all the characters of age?
    you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white
    decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice
    your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every
    part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call 510
    yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John!
  • Falstaff. My lord, I was born about three of the clock in the
    afternoon, with a white head and something a round belly. For
    voice—I have lost it with hallooing and singing of anthems.
    approve my youth further, I will not. The truth is, I am only
    in judgment and understanding; and he that will caper with me 520
    a thousand marks, let him lend me the money, and have at him.
    the box of the ear that the Prince gave you—he gave it like
    rude prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have
    him for it; and the young lion repents—marry, not in ashes
    sackcloth, but in new silk and old sack. 525
  • Falstaff. God send the companion a better prince! I cannot rid 535
    hands of him.
  • Lord Chief Justice. Well, the King hath sever'd you. I hear you are
    going with Lord John of Lancaster against the Archbishop and
    Earl of Northumberland. 540
  • Falstaff. Yea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look
    pray, all you that kiss my Lady Peace at home, that our
    join not in a hot day; for, by the Lord, I take but two
    out with me, and I mean not to sweat extraordinarily. If it 545
    hot day, and I brandish anything but a bottle, I would I
    never spit white again. There is not a dangerous action can
    out his head but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last
    but it was alway yet the trick of our English nation, if they
    have a good thing, to make it too common. If ye will needs 550
    am an old man, you should give me rest. I would to God my
    were not so terrible to the enemy as it is. I were better to
    eaten to death with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with
    perpetual motion.
  • Falstaff. Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to
    forth?
  • Lord Chief Justice. Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient 570
    bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend me to my cousin
    Westmoreland.

Exeunt CHIEF JUSTICE and SERVANT

  • Falstaff. If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A man can 575
    more separate age and covetousness than 'a can part young
    and lechery; but the gout galls the one, and the pox pinches
    other; and so both the degrees prevent my curses. Boy!
  • Page. Seven groats and two pence.
  • Falstaff. I can get no remedy against this consumption of the 585
    purse; borrowing only lingers and lingers it out, but the
    is incurable. Go bear this letter to my Lord of Lancaster;
    to the Prince; this to the Earl of Westmoreland; and this to
    Mistress Ursula, whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I
    perceiv'd the first white hair of my chin. About it; you know 590
    where to find me. [Exit PAGE] A pox of this gout! or, a
    this pox! for the one or the other plays the rogue with my
    toe. 'Tis no matter if I do halt; I have the wars for my
    and my pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit
    make use of anything. I will turn diseases to commodity. 595
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Act I, Scene 3

York. The ARCHBISHOP’S palace

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Enter the ARCHBISHOP, THOMAS MOWBRAY the EARL MARSHAL, LORD HASTINGS, and LORD BARDOLPH

  • Archbishop Scroop. Thus have you heard our cause and known our means; 605
    And, my most noble friends, I pray you all
    Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes-
    And first, Lord Marshal, what say you to it?
  • Lord Mowbray. I well allow the occasion of our amis;
    But gladly would be better satisfied 610
    How, in our means, we should advance ourselves
    To look with forehead bold and big enough
    Upon the power and puissance of the King.
  • Lord Hastings. Our present musters grow upon the file
    To five and twenty thousand men of choice; 615
    And our supplies live largely in the hope
    Of great Northumberland, whose bosom burns
    With an incensed fire of injuries.
  • Lord Bardolph. The question then, Lord Hastings, standeth thus:
    Whether our present five and twenty thousand 620
    May hold up head without Northumberland?
  • Lord Bardolph. Yea, marry, there's the point;
    But if without him we be thought too feeble,
    My judgment is we should not step too far 625
    Till we had his assistance by the hand;
    For, in a theme so bloody-fac'd as this,
    Conjecture, expectation, and surmise
    Of aids incertain, should not be admitted.
  • Archbishop Scroop. 'Tis very true, Lord Bardolph; for indeed 630
    It was young Hotspur's case at Shrewsbury.
  • Lord Bardolph. It was, my lord; who lin'd himself with hope,
    Eating the air and promise of supply,
    Flatt'ring himself in project of a power
    Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts; 635
    And so, with great imagination
    Proper to madmen, led his powers to death,
    And, winking, leapt into destruction.
  • Lord Hastings. But, by your leave, it never yet did hurt
    To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope. 640
  • Lord Bardolph. Yes, if this present quality of war-
    Indeed the instant action, a cause on foot-
    Lives so in hope, as in an early spring
    We see th' appearing buds; which to prove fruit
    Hope gives not so much warrant, as despair 645
    That frosts will bite them. When we mean to build,
    We first survey the plot, then draw the model;
    And when we see the figure of the house,
    Then we must rate the cost of the erection;
    Which if we find outweighs ability, 650
    What do we then but draw anew the model
    In fewer offices, or at least desist
    To build at all? Much more, in this great work—
    Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down
    And set another up—should we survey 655
    The plot of situation and the model,
    Consent upon a sure foundation,
    Question surveyors, know our own estate
    How able such a work to undergo-
    To weigh against his opposite; or else 660
    We fortify in paper and in figures,
    Using the names of men instead of men;
    Like one that draws the model of a house
    Beyond his power to build it; who, half through,
    Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost 665
    A naked subject to the weeping clouds
    And waste for churlish winter's tyranny.
  • Lord Hastings. Grant that our hopes—yet likely of fair birth—
    Should be still-born, and that we now possess'd
    The utmost man of expectation, 670
    I think we are so a body strong enough,
    Even as we are, to equal with the King.
  • Lord Hastings. To us no more; nay, not so much, Lord Bardolph;
    For his divisions, as the times do brawl, 675
    Are in three heads: one power against the French,
    And one against Glendower; perforce a third
    Must take up us. So is the unfirm King
    In three divided; and his coffers sound
    With hollow poverty and emptiness. 680
  • Archbishop Scroop. That he should draw his several strengths together
    And come against us in full puissance
    Need not be dreaded.
  • Lord Hastings. If he should do so,
    He leaves his back unarm'd, the French and Welsh 685
    Baying at his heels. Never fear that.
  • Lord Hastings. The Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland;
    Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth;
    But who is substituted against the French 690
    I have no certain notice.
  • Archbishop Scroop. Let us on,
    And publish the occasion of our arms.
    The commonwealth is sick of their own choice;
    Their over-greedy love hath surfeited. 695
    An habitation giddy and unsure
    Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart.
    O thou fond many, with what loud applause
    Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke
    Before he was what thou wouldst have him be! 700
    And being now trimm'd in thine own desires,
    Thou, beastly feeder, art so full of him
    That thou provok'st thyself to cast him up.
    So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge
    Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard; 705
    And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up,
    And howl'st to find it. What trust is in these times?
    They that, when Richard liv'd, would have him die
    Are now become enamour'd on his grave.
    Thou that threw'st dust upon his goodly head, 710
    When through proud London he came sighing on
    After th' admired heels of Bolingbroke,
    Criest now 'O earth, yield us that king again,
    And take thou this!' O thoughts of men accurs'd!
    Past and to come seems best; things present, worst. 715

Exeunt

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. previous scene      

Act II, Scene 1

London. A street

      next scene .
---

Enter HOSTESS with two officers, FANG and SNARE

  • Fang. It is ent'red.
  • Fang. Sirrah, where's Snare? 725
  • Fang. Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
  • Snare. It may chance cost some of our lives, for he will stab. 730
  • Hostess Quickly. Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabb'd me in mine
    house, and that most beastly. In good faith, 'a cares not
    mischief he does, if his weapon be out; he will foin like any
    devil; he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.
  • Fang. If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
  • Fang. An I but fist him once; an 'a come but within my vice!
  • Hostess Quickly. I am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's an 740
    infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold him
    Good Master Snare, let him not scape. 'A comes continuantly
    Pie-corner—saving your manhoods—to buy a saddle; and he is
    indited to dinner to the Lubber's Head in Lumbert Street, to
    Master Smooth's the silkman. I pray you, since my exion is 745
    ent'red, and my case so openly known to the world, let him be
    brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a
    lone woman to bear; and I have borne, and borne, and borne;
    have been fubb'd off, and fubb'd off, and fubb'd off, from
    day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. There 750
    honesty in such dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass
    a beast, to bear every knave's wrong.
    [Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, PAGE, and BARDOLPH]
    Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose knave,
    with him. Do your offices, do your offices, Master Fang and 755
    Master Snare; do me, do me, do me your offices.
  • Falstaff. How now! whose mare's dead? What's the matter? 765
  • Fang. Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.
  • Falstaff. Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph. Cut me off the
    head. Throw the quean in the channel.
  • Hostess Quickly. Throw me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the 770
    Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly rogue! Murder, murder!
    thou honeysuckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and
    King's? Ah, thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a honey-seed; a
    man-queller and a woman-queller.
  • Fang. A rescue! a rescue!
  • Hostess Quickly. Good people, bring a rescue or two. Thou wot, wot 780
    thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou rogue! do, thou hemp-seed!
  • Page. Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian!
    I'll tickle your catastrophe.

Enter the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE and his men

  • Lord Chief Justice. How now, Sir John! what, are you brawling here?
    Doth this become your place, your time, and business? 790
    You should have been well on your way to York.
    Stand from him, fellow; wherefore hang'st thou upon him?
  • Hostess Quickly. O My most worshipful lord, an't please your Grace, I
    poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.
  • Hostess Quickly. It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all—all
    have. He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all
    substance into that fat belly of his. But I will have some of
    out again, or I will ride thee a nights like a mare. 800
  • Falstaff. I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any
    vantage of ground to get up. 805
  • Lord Chief Justice. How comes this, Sir John? Fie! What man of good
    temper would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not
    ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come
    her own?
  • Falstaff. What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
  • Hostess Quickly. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the
    too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet,
    my Dolphin chamber, at the round table, by a sea-coal fire,
    Wednesday in Wheeson week, when the Prince broke thy head for 815
    liking his father to singing-man of Windsor—thou didst swear
    me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me and make me
    lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech,
    butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly?
    in to borrow a mess of vinegar, telling us she had a good 820
    prawns, whereby thou didst desire to eat some, whereby I told
    thee they were ill for green wound? And didst thou not, when
    was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity
    such poor people, saying that ere long they should call me
    And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch the thirty 825
    shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath. Deny it, if thou
    canst.
  • Falstaff. My lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says up and
    down the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been 840
    good case, and, the truth is, poverty hath distracted her.
    for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may have redress
    against them.
  • Lord Chief Justice. Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with
    manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a
    confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such
    than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level
    consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practis'd upon 850
    easy yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your
    both in purse and in person.
  • Lord Chief Justice. Pray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her,
    unpay the villainy you have done with her; the one you may do
    with sterling money, and the other with current repentance. 860
  • Falstaff. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply.
    call honourable boldness impudent sauciness; if a man will
    curtsy and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my
    duty rememb'red, I will not be your suitor. I say to you I do 865
    desire deliverance from these officers, being upon hasty
    employment in the King's affairs.
  • Lord Chief Justice. You speak as having power to do wrong; but
    th' effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman.

Enter GOWER

  • Gower. The King, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales
    Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells. [Gives a letter]
  • Falstaff. As I am a gentleman! Come, no more words of it.
  • Hostess Quickly. By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to
    both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
  • Falstaff. Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking; and for thy 885
    walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the
    the German hunting, in water-work, is worth a thousand of
    bed-hangers and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten
    if thou canst. Come, and 'twere not for thy humours, there's
    a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw the 890
    action. Come, thou must not be in this humour with me; dost
    know me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.
  • Hostess Quickly. Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles;
    i' faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la!
  • Falstaff. Let it alone; I'll make other shift. You'll be a fool 900
    still.
  • Hostess Quickly. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown.
    I hope you'll come to supper. you'll pay me all together?
  • Falstaff. Will I live? [To BARDOLPH] Go, with her, with her;
    on, hook on. 905
  • Falstaff. No more words; let's have her.

Exeunt HOSTESS, BARDOLPH, and OFFICERS

  • Gower. At Basingstoke, my lord.
  • Falstaff. I hope, my lord, all's well. What is the news, my
  • Gower. No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,
    Are march'd up to my Lord of Lancaster,
    Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.
  • Falstaff. Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord? 920
  • Lord Chief Justice. You shall have letters of me presently.
    Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.
  • Falstaff. Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner? 925
  • Gower. I must wait upon my good lord here, I thank you, good
    John.
  • Lord Chief Justice. Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you
    take soldiers up in counties as you go. 930
  • Falstaff. Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
  • Falstaff. Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool
    taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord; tap
    tap, and so part fair.

Exeunt

---
. previous scene      

Act II, Scene 2

London. Another street

      next scene .
---

Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS

  • Henry V. Before God, I am exceeding weary. 945
  • Edward Poins. Is't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not
    attach'd one of so high blood.
  • Henry V. Faith, it does me; though it discolours the complexion
    my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me 950
    desire small beer?
  • Edward Poins. Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied as to
    remember so weak a composition. 955
  • Henry V. Belike then my appetite was not-princely got; for, by
    troth, I do now remember the poor creature, small beer. But
    indeed these humble considerations make me out of love with
    greatness. What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name,
    to know thy face to-morrow, or to take note how many pair of 960
    stockings thou hast—viz., these, and those that were thy
    peach-colour'd ones—or to bear the inventory of thy shirts-
    one for superfluity, and another for use! But that the
    tennis-court-keeper knows better than I; for it is a low ebb
    linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there; as thou 965
    not done a great while, because the rest of thy low countries
    have made a shift to eat up thy holland. And God knows
    those that bawl out of the ruins of thy linen shall inherit
    kingdom; but the midwives say the children are not in the
    whereupon the world increases, and kindreds are mightily 970
    strengthened.
  • Edward Poins. How ill it follows, after you have laboured so hard, you
    should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good young princes
    do so, their fathers being so sick as yours at this time is?
  • Henry V. Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?
  • Edward Poins. Yes, faith; and let it be an excellent good thing.
  • Henry V. It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than
  • Edward Poins. Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that you will 990
    tell.
  • Henry V. Marry, I tell thee it is not meet that I should be sad,
    my father is sick; albeit I could tell to thee—as to one it
    pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend—I could
    sad and sad indeed too. 995
  • Henry V. By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in the devil's
    as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency: let the 1000
    try the man. But I tell thee my heart bleeds inwardly that my
    father is so sick; and keeping such vile company as thou art
    in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow.
  • Henry V. What wouldst thou think of me if I should weep?
  • Edward Poins. I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.
  • Henry V. It would be every man's thought; and thou art a blessed 1010
    fellow to think as every man thinks. Never a man's thought in
    world keeps the road-way better than thine. Every man would
    me an hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most worshipful
    thought to think so?
  • Edward Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd and so much engraffed
    Falstaff.
  • Edward Poins. By this light, I am well spoke on; I can hear it with
    own ears. The worst that they can say of me is that I am a
    brother and that I am a proper fellow of my hands; and those
    things, I confess, I cannot help. By the mass, here comes
    Bardolph. 1025

Enter BARDOLPH and PAGE

  • Henry V. And the boy that I gave Falstaff. 'A had him from me 1030
    Christian; and look if the fat villain have not transform'd
    ape.
  • Henry V. And yours, most noble Bardolph! 1035
  • Edward Poins. Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful fool, must you be
    blushing? Wherefore blush you now? What a maidenly
    are you become! Is't such a matter to get a pottle-pot's
    maidenhead?
  • Page. 'A calls me e'en now, my lord, through a red lattice, and
    could discern no part of his face from the window. At last I
    spied his eyes; and methought he had made two holes in the
    alewife's new petticoat, and so peep'd through.
  • Henry V. Has not the boy profited?
  • Bardolph. Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, away!
  • Page. Away, you rascally Althaea's dream, away!
  • Henry V. Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy?
  • Page. Marry, my lord, Althaea dreamt she was delivered of a 1050
    firebrand; and therefore I call him her dream.
  • Henry V. A crown's worth of good interpretation. There 'tis,

[Giving a crown]

  • Edward Poins. O that this blossom could be kept from cankers! 1055
    Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee.
  • Bardolph. An you do not make him be hang'd among you, the
    shall have wrong.
  • Henry V. And how doth thy master, Bardolph? 1060
  • Bardolph. Well, my lord. He heard of your Grace's coming to
    There's a letter for you.
  • Edward Poins. Deliver'd with good respect. And how doth the martlemas,
    your master? 1065
  • Edward Poins. Marry, the immortal part needs a physician; but that
    not him. Though that be sick, it dies not.
  • Henry V. I do allow this well to be as familiar with me as my 1070
    and he holds his place, for look you how he writes.
  • Edward Poins. [Reads] 'John Falstaff, knight'—Every man must know
    as oft as he has occasion to name himself, even like those
    are kin to the King; for they never prick their finger but 1075
    say 'There's some of the King's blood spilt.' 'How comes
    says he that takes upon him not to conceive. The answer is as
    ready as a borrower's cap: 'I am the King's poor cousin,
  • Henry V. Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch it from
    Japhet. But the letter: [Reads] 'Sir John Falstaff, knight, 1085
    the son of the King nearest his father, Harry Prince of
    greeting.'
  • Henry V. Peace! [Reads] 'I will imitate the honourable Romans
    brevity.'-
  • Edward Poins. He sure means brevity in breath, short-winded.
  • Henry V. [Reads] 'I commend me to thee, I commend thee, and I 1095
    leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins; for he misuses
    favours so much that he swears thou art to marry his sister
    Repent at idle times as thou mayst, and so farewell.
    Thine, by yea and no—which is as much as to say as
    thou usest him—JACK FALSTAFF with my familiars, 1100
    JOHN with my brothers and sisters, and SIR JOHN with
    all Europe.'
  • Edward Poins. My lord, I'll steep this letter in sack and make him eat 1105
  • Henry V. That's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do you
    me thus, Ned? Must I marry your sister?
  • Edward Poins. God send the wench no worse fortune! But I never said 1110
  • Henry V. Well, thus we play the fools with the time, and the
    of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us. Is your master
    London?
  • Henry V. Where sups he? Doth the old boar feed in the old frank?
  • Bardolph. At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap.
  • Page. Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.
  • Page. None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and Mistress Doll
    Tearsheet.
  • Henry V. What pagan may that be? 1125
  • Page. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of my
  • Henry V. Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the town
    Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper?
  • Henry V. Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph, no word to your master
    I am yet come to town. There's for your silence.
  • Page. And for mine, sir, I will govern it.
  • Henry V. Fare you well; go. Exeunt BARDOLPH and PAGE
    This Doll Tearsheet should be some road.
  • Edward Poins. I warrant you, as common as the way between Saint Albans
    London. 1140
  • Henry V. How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night in
    true colours, and not ourselves be seen?
  • Edward Poins. Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and wait upon 1145
    his table as drawers.
  • Henry V. From a god to a bull? A heavy descension! It was Jove's
    case. From a prince to a prentice? A low transformation! That
    shall be mine; for in everything the purpose must weigh with 1150
    folly. Follow me, Ned.

Exeunt

---
. previous scene      

Act II, Scene 3

Warkworth. Before the castle

      next scene .
---

Enter NORTHUMBERLAND, LADY NORTHUMBERLAND, and LADY PERCY

  • Earl of Northumberland. I pray thee, loving wife, and gentle daughter, 1155
    Give even way unto my rough affairs;
    Put not you on the visage of the times
    And be, like them, to Percy troublesome.
  • Lady Northumberland. I have given over, I will speak no more.
    Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide. 1160
  • Lady Percy. O, yet, for God's sake, go not to these wars!
    The time was, father, that you broke your word,
    When you were more endear'd to it than now; 1165
    When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry,
    Threw many a northward look to see his father
    Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain.
    Who then persuaded you to stay at home?
    There were two honours lost, yours and your son's. 1170
    For yours, the God of heaven brighten it!
    For his, it stuck upon him as the sun
    In the grey vault of heaven; and by his light
    Did all the chivalry of England move
    To do brave acts. He was indeed the glass 1175
    Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves.
    He had no legs that practis'd not his gait;
    And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish,
    Became the accents of the valiant;
    For those who could speak low and tardily 1180
    Would turn their own perfection to abuse
    To seem like him: so that in speech, in gait,
    In diet, in affections of delight,
    In military rules, humours of blood,
    He was the mark and glass, copy and book, 1185
    That fashion'd others. And him—O wondrous him!
    O miracle of men!—him did you leave—
    Second to none, unseconded by you—
    To look upon the hideous god of war
    In disadvantage, to abide a field 1190
    Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name
    Did seem defensible. So you left him.
    Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong
    To hold your honour more precise and nice
    With others than with him! Let them alone. 1195
    The Marshal and the Archbishop are strong.
    Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers,
    To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck,
    Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.
  • Earl of Northumberland. Beshrew your heart, 1200
    Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me
    With new lamenting ancient oversights.
    But I must go and meet with danger there,
    Or it will seek me in another place,
    And find me worse provided. 1205
  • Lady Northumberland. O, fly to Scotland
    Till that the nobles and the armed commons
    Have of their puissance made a little taste.
  • Lady Percy. If they get ground and vantage of the King,
    Then join you with them, like a rib of steel, 1210
    To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves,
    First let them try themselves. So did your son;
    He was so suff'red; so came I a widow;
    And never shall have length of life enough
    To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes, 1215
    That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven,
    For recordation to my noble husband.
  • Earl of Northumberland. Come, come, go in with me. 'Tis with my mind
    As with the tide swell'd up unto his height,
    That makes a still-stand, running neither way. 1220
    Fain would I go to meet the Archbishop,
    But many thousand reasons hold me back.
    I will resolve for Scotland. There am I,
    Till time and vantage crave my company. Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act II, Scene 4

London. The Boar’s Head Tavern in Eastcheap

      next scene .
---

Enter FRANCIS and another DRAWER

  • Francis. What the devil hast thou brought there-apple-johns?
    knowest Sir John cannot endure an apple-john.
  • Second Drawer. Mass, thou say'st true. The Prince once set a
    of apple-johns before him, and told him there were five more 1230
    Johns; and, putting off his hat, said 'I will now take my
    of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.' It ang'red
    to the heart; but he hath forgot that.
  • Francis. Why, then, cover and set them down; and see if thou
    find out Sneak's noise; Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear
    music. 1240

Enter third DRAWER

  • Third Drawer. Dispatch! The room where they supp'd is too hot;
    they'll come in straight. 1245
  • Francis. Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon;
    they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons; and Sir John
    not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.
  • Third Drawer. By the mass, here will be old uds; it will be an
    excellent stratagem.

Exeunt second and third DRAWERS

Enter HOSTESS and DOLL TEARSHEET

  • Hostess Quickly. I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an
    good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as
    would desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as
    rose, in good truth, la! But, i' faith, you have drunk too
    canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it 1260
    the blood ere one can say 'What's this?' How do you now?
  • Hostess Quickly. Why, that's well said; a good heart's worth gold.
    Lo, here comes Sir John.

Enter FALSTAFF

  • Falstaff. [Singing] 'When Arthur first in court'—Empty the
    Jordan. [Exit FRANCIS][Singing] 'And was a worthy king'—
    now, Mistress Doll!
  • Falstaff. So is all her sect; and they be once in a calm, they
    sick.
  • Doll Tearsheet. A pox damn you, you muddy rascal! Is that all the comfort
    give me? 1280
  • Falstaff. You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
  • Doll Tearsheet. I make them! Gluttony and diseases make them: I make them
    not.
  • Falstaff. If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to 1285
    the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you;
    that, my poor virtue, grant that.
  • Falstaff. 'Your brooches, pearls, and ouches.' For to serve
    is to come halting off; you know, to come off the breach with
    pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon
    charg'd chambers bravely—
  • Hostess Quickly. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never
    but you fall to some discord. You are both, i' good truth, as 1300
    rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with
    confirmities. What the good-year! one must bear, and that
    you. You are the weaker vessel, as as they say, the emptier
    vessel.
  • Doll Tearsheet. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogs-head?
    There's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him;
    have not seen a hulk better stuff'd in the hold. Come, I'll 1310
    friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the wars; and
    I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.

Re-enter FRANCIS

  • Francis. Sir, Ancient Pistol's below and would speak with you.
  • Doll Tearsheet. Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither; it
    the foul-mouth'dst rogue in England.
  • Hostess Quickly. If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith!
    must live among my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers. I am in
    name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes
    swaggerers here; I have not liv'd all this while to have
    swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you. 1325
  • Hostess Quickly. Pray ye, pacify yourself, Sir John; there comes no 1330
    swaggerers here.
  • Falstaff. Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.
  • Hostess Quickly. Tilly-fally, Sir John, ne'er tell me; and your ancient
    swagg'rer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick,
    debuty, t' other day; and, as he said to me—'twas no longer 1335
    than Wednesday last, i' good faith!—'Neighbour Quickly,'
    he—Master Dumbe, our minister, was by then—'Neighbour
    says he 'receive those that are civil, for' said he 'you are
    an ill name.' Now 'a said so, I can tell whereupon. 'For'
    'you are an honest woman and well thought on, therefore take 1340
    what guests you receive. Receive' says he 'no swaggering
    companions.' There comes none here. You would bless you to
    what he said. No, I'll no swagg'rers.
  • Falstaff. He's no swagg'rer, hostess; a tame cheater, i' faith;
    may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He'll not
    with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turn back in any show of
    resistance. Call him up, drawer. 1355

Exit FRANCIS

  • Hostess Quickly. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my
    nor no cheater; but I do not love swaggering, by my troth. I 1360
    the worse when one says 'swagger.' Feel, masters, how I
    look you, I warrant you.
  • Hostess Quickly. Do I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an aspen
    cannot abide swagg'rers.

Enter PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and PAGE

  • Pistol. God save you, Sir John!
  • Falstaff. Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you
    a cup of sack; do you discharge upon mine hostess.
  • Pistol. I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two bullets. 1375
  • Falstaff. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall not hardly offend
    her.
  • Hostess Quickly. Come, I'll drink no proofs nor no bullets. I'll drink
    more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I.
  • Pistol. Then to you, Mistress Dorothy; I will charge you.
  • Doll Tearsheet. Charge me! I scorn you, scurvy companion. What! you poor,
    base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy
    rogue, away! I am meat for your master.
  • Pistol. I know you, Mistress Dorothy. 1385
  • Doll Tearsheet. Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! By
    wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play
    saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you
    basket-hilt stale juggler, you! Since when, I pray you, sir?
    God's light, with two points on your shoulder? Much! 1390
  • Pistol. God let me not live but I will murder your ruff for
  • Falstaff. No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off here. 1395
    Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.
  • Doll Tearsheet. Captain! Thou abominable damn'd cheater, art thou not
    to be called captain? An captains were of my mind, they would
    truncheon you out, for taking their names upon you before you 1400
    have earn'd them. You a captain! you slave, for what? For
    a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy-house? He a captain! hang him,
    rogue! He lives upon mouldy stew'd prunes and dried cakes. A
    captain! God's light, these villains will make the word as
    as the word 'occupy'; which was an excellent good word before 1405
    was ill sorted. Therefore captains had need look to't.
  • Bardolph. Pray thee go down, good ancient.
  • Falstaff. Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.
  • Pistol. Not I! I tell thee what, Corporal Bardolph, I could
    her; I'll be reveng'd of her.
  • Page. Pray thee go down.
  • Pistol. I'll see her damn'd first; to Pluto's damn'd lake, by
    hand, to th' infernal deep, with Erebus and tortures vile
    Hold hook and line, say I. Down, down, dogs! down, faitors!
    we not Hiren here? 1420
  • Hostess Quickly. Good Captain Peesel, be quiet; 'tis very late, i'
    beseek you now, aggravate your choler. 1425
  • Pistol. These be good humours, indeed! Shall packhorses,
    And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia,
    Which cannot go but thirty mile a day,
    Compare with Caesars, and with Cannibals, 1430
    And Troiant Greeks? Nay, rather damn them with
    King Cerberus; and let the welkin roar.
    Shall we fall foul for toys?
  • Bardolph. Be gone, good ancient; this will grow to a brawl 1435
  • Pistol. Die men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have we not
    here?
  • Hostess Quickly. O' my word, Captain, there's none such here. What the 1440
    good-year! do you think I would deny her? For God's sake, be
    quiet.
  • Pistol. Then feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis.
    Come, give's some sack.
    'Si fortune me tormente sperato me contento.' 1445
    Fear we broadsides? No, let the fiend give fire.
    Give me some sack; and, sweetheart, lie thou there.
    [Laying down his sword]
    Come we to full points here, and are etceteras nothings?
  • Falstaff. Pistol, I would be quiet. 1450
  • Pistol. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What! we have seen the
    stars.
  • Doll Tearsheet. For God's sake thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure
    fustian rascal. 1455
  • Pistol. Thrust him down stairs! Know we not Galloway nags?
  • Falstaff. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat
    Nay, an 'a do nothing but speak nothing, 'a shall be nothing
    here. 1460
  • Pistol. What! shall we have incision? Shall we imbrue?
    [Snatching up his sword]
    Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days! 1465
    Why, then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds
    Untwine the Sisters Three! Come, Atropos, I say!

[Drawing and driving PISTOL out]

  • Hostess Quickly. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house
    I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder, I warrant
    Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your naked 1475

Exeunt PISTOL and BARDOLPH

  • Doll Tearsheet. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal's gone. Ah, you 1480
    whoreson little valiant villain, you!
  • Hostess Quickly. Are you not hurt i' th' groin? Methought 'a made a
    thrust at your belly.

Re-enter BARDOLPH

  • Falstaff. Have you turn'd him out a doors?
  • Bardolph. Yea, sir. The rascal's drunk. You have hurt him, sir,
    th' shoulder.
  • Doll Tearsheet. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou
    sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face. Come on, you whoreson
    chops. Ah, rogue! i' faith, I love thee. Thou art as valorous
    Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better
    than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain! 1495
  • Falstaff. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.
  • Doll Tearsheet. Do, an thou dar'st for thy heart. An thou dost, I'll
    thee between a pair of sheets.

Enter musicians

  • Page. The music is come, sir.
  • Falstaff. Let them play. Play, sirs. Sit on my knee, Don. A
    bragging slave! The rogue fled from me like quick-silver.
  • Doll Tearsheet. I' faith, and thou follow'dst him like a church. Thou
    whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou
    fighting a days and foining a nights, and begin to patch up
    old body for heaven?
    Enter, behind, PRINCE HENRY and POINS disguised as drawers 1510
  • Falstaff. Peace, good Doll! Do not speak like a death's-head;
    not bid me remember mine end.
  • Falstaff. A good shallow young fellow. 'A would have made a
    pantler; 'a would ha' chipp'd bread well.
  • Falstaff. He a good wit! hang him, baboon! His wit's as thick
    Tewksbury mustard; there's no more conceit in him than is in
    mallet.
  • Falstaff. Because their legs are both of a bigness, and 'a
    quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off
    ends for flap-dragons, and rides the wild mare with the boys,
    jumps upon join'd-stools, and swears with a good grace, and 1530
    his boots very smooth, like unto the sign of the Leg, and
    no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other
    faculties 'a has, that show a weak mind and an able body, for
    which the Prince admits him. For the Prince himself is such
    another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between 1535
    avoirdupois.
  • Henry V. Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off? 1545
  • Henry V. Look whe'er the wither'd elder hath not his poll claw'd
    like a parrot.
  • Edward Poins. Is it not strange that desire should so many years
    performance? 1550
  • Henry V. Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! What says
    almanac to that?
  • Edward Poins. And look whether the fiery Trigon, his man, be not
    to his master's old tables, his note-book, his
  • Falstaff. Thou dost give me flattering busses. 1560
  • Doll Tearsheet. I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of
    them all.
  • Falstaff. What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive 1565
    Thursday. Shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry song, come. 'A
    grows late; we'll to bed. Thou't forget me when I am gone.
  • Doll Tearsheet. By my troth, thou't set me a-weeping, an thou say'st so.
    Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return. 1570
    hearken a' th' end.
  • Henry V. [with POINS:] Anon, anon, sir. [Advancing]
  • Falstaff. Ha! a bastard son of the King's? And art thou not 1575
    his brother?
  • Henry V. Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost
    lead!
  • Falstaff. A better than thou. I am a gentleman: thou art a
  • Henry V. Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by the ears.
  • Hostess Quickly. O, the Lord preserve thy Grace! By my troth, welcome
    London. Now the Lord bless that sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are you come from Wales? 1585
  • Falstaff. Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light
    flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome.

[Leaning his band upon DOLL]

  • Edward Poins. My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn
    to a merriment, if you take not the heat.
  • Henry V. YOU whoreson candle-mine, you, how vilely did you speak
    me even now before this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman! 1595
  • Hostess Quickly. God's blessing of your good heart! and so she is, by
    troth.
  • Henry V. Yea; and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by
    Gadshill. You knew I was at your back, and spoke it on
    try my patience.
  • Falstaff. No, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast within 1605
    hearing.
  • Henry V. I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuse, and
    then I know how to handle you.
  • Falstaff. No abuse, Hal, o' mine honour; no abuse.
  • Henry V. Not to dispraise me, and call me pander, and 1610
    bread-chipper, and I know not what!
  • Falstaff. No abuse, Ned, i' th' world; honest Ned, none. I
    disprais'd him before the wicked—that the wicked might not 1615
    in love with thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a
    careful friend and a true subject; and thy father is to give
    thanks for it. No abuse, Hal; none, Ned, none; no, faith,
    none.
  • Henry V. See now, whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth
    make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us?
    she of the wicked? Is thine hostess here of the wicked? Or is 1625
    boy of the wicked? Or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in
    nose, of the wicked?
  • Falstaff. The fiend hath prick'd down Bardolph irrecoverable;
    his face is Lucifer's privy-kitchen, where he doth nothing
    roast malt-worms. For the boy—there is a good angel about 1635
    but the devil outbids him too.
  • Falstaff. For one of them—she's in hell already, and burns
    souls. For th' other—I owe her money; and whether she be
    for that, I know not.
  • Falstaff. No, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit for
    Marry, there is another indictment upon thee for suffering
    to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law; for the which
    think thou wilt howl. 1650
  • Hostess Quickly. All vict'lers do so. What's a joint of mutton or two
    whole Lent? 1655
  • Falstaff. His Grace says that which his flesh rebels against.

[Knocking within]

  • Hostess Quickly. Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th' door there,
    Francis.

Enter PETO

  • Henry V. Peto, how now! What news?
  • Peto. The King your father is at Westminster; 1665
    And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
    Come from the north; and as I came along
    I met and overtook a dozen captains,
    Bare-headed, sweating, knocking at the taverns,
    And asking every one for Sir John Falstaff. 1670
  • Henry V. By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame
    So idly to profane the precious time,
    When tempest of commotion, like the south,
    Borne with black vapour, doth begin to melt
    And drop upon our bare unarmed heads. 1675
    Give me my sword and cloak. Falstaff, good night.

Exeunt PRINCE, POINS, PETO, and BARDOLPH

  • Falstaff. Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we
    must hence, and leave it unpick'd. [Knocking within] More
    knocking at the door! 1680
    [Re-enter BARDOLPH]
    How now! What's the matter?
  • Bardolph. You must away to court, sir, presently;
    A dozen captains stay at door for you.
  • Falstaff. [To the PAGE]. Pay the musicians, sirrah.—Farewell, 1685
    hostess; farewell, Doll. You see, my good wenches, how men of
    merit are sought after; the undeserver may sleep, when the
    action is call'd on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent
    away post, I will see you again ere I go.
  • Doll Tearsheet. I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to burst!
    Well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.

Exeunt FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH

  • Hostess Quickly. Well, fare thee well. I have known thee these 1695
    years, come peascod-time; but an honester and truer-hearted
  • Bardolph. [Within] Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my master.
  • Hostess Quickly. O, run Doll, run, run, good Come. [To BARDOLPH] She
    comes blubber'd.—Yea, will you come, Doll? Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act III, Scene 1

Westminster. The palace

      next scene .
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Enter the KING in his nightgown, with a page

  • Henry IV. Go call the Earls of Surrey and of Warwick; 1705
    But, ere they come, bid them o'er-read these letters
    And well consider of them. Make good speed. Exit page
    How many thousands of my poorest subjects
    Are at this hour asleep! O sleep, O gentle sleep,
    Nature's soft nurse, how have I frightened thee, 1710
    That thou no more will weigh my eyelids down,
    And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
    Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs,
    Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee,
    And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber, 1715
    Than in the perfum'd chambers of the great,
    Under the canopies of costly state,
    And lull'd with sound of sweetest melody?
    O thou dull god, why liest thou with the vile
    In loathsome beds, and leav'st the kingly couch 1720
    A watch-case or a common 'larum-bell?
    Wilt thou upon the high and giddy mast
    Seal up the ship-boy's eyes, and rock his brains
    In cradle of the rude imperious surge,
    And in the visitation of the winds, 1725
    Who take the ruffian billows by the top,
    Curling their monstrous heads, and hanging them
    With deafing clamour in the slippery clouds,
    That with the hurly death itself awakes?
    Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose 1730
    To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude;
    And in the calmest and most stillest night,
    With all appliances and means to boot,
    Deny it to a king? Then, happy low, lie down!
    Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. 1735

Enter WARWICK and Surrey

  • Henry IV. Why then, good morrow to you all, my lords. 1740
    Have you read o'er the letters that I sent you?
  • Henry IV. Then you perceive the body of our kingdom
    How foul it is; what rank diseases grow,
    And with what danger, near the heart of it. 1745
  • Earl of Warwick. It is but as a body yet distempered;
    Which to his former strength may be restored
    With good advice and little medicine.
    My Lord Northumberland will soon be cool'd.
  • Henry IV. O God! that one might read the book of fate, 1750
    And see the revolution of the times
    Make mountains level, and the continent,
    Weary of solid firmness, melt itself
    Into the sea; and other times to see
    The beachy girdle of the ocean 1755
    Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chances mock,
    And changes fill the cup of alteration
    With divers liquors! O, if this were seen,
    The happiest youth, viewing his progress through,
    What perils past, what crosses to ensue, 1760
    Would shut the book and sit him down and die.
    'Tis not ten years gone
    Since Richard and Northumberland, great friends,
    Did feast together, and in two years after
    Were they at wars. It is but eight years since 1765
    This Percy was the man nearest my soul;
    Who like a brother toil'd in my affairs
    And laid his love and life under my foot;
    Yea, for my sake, even to the eyes of Richard
    Gave him defiance. But which of you was by— 1770
    [To WARWICK] You, cousin Nevil, as I may remember—
    When Richard, with his eye brim full of tears,
    Then check'd and rated by Northumberland,
    Did speak these words, now prov'd a prophecy?
    'Northumberland, thou ladder by the which 1775
    My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne'—
    Though then, God knows, I had no such intent
    But that necessity so bow'd the state
    That I and greatness were compell'd to kiss—
    'The time shall come'—thus did he follow it— 1780
    'The time will come that foul sin, gathering head,
    Shall break into corruption' so went on,
    Foretelling this same time's condition
    And the division of our amity.
  • Earl of Warwick. There is a history in all men's lives, 1785
    Figuring the natures of the times deceas'd;
    The which observ'd, a man may prophesy,
    With a near aim, of the main chance of things
    As yet not come to life, who in their seeds
    And weak beginning lie intreasured. 1790
    Such things become the hatch and brood of time;
    And, by the necessary form of this,
    King Richard might create a perfect guess
    That great Northumberland, then false to him,
    Would of that seed grow to a greater falseness; 1795
    Which should not find a ground to root upon
    Unless on you.
  • Henry IV. Are these things then necessities?
    Then let us meet them like necessities;
    And that same word even now cries out on us. 1800
    They say the Bishop and Northumberland
    Are fifty thousand strong.
  • Earl of Warwick. It cannot be, my lord.
    Rumour doth double, like the voice and echo,
    The numbers of the feared. Please it your Grace 1805
    To go to bed. Upon my soul, my lord,
    The powers that you already have sent forth
    Shall bring this prize in very easily.
    To comfort you the more, I have receiv'd
    A certain instance that Glendower is dead. 1810
    Your Majesty hath been this fortnight ill;
    And these unseasoned hours perforce must ad
    Unto your sickness.
  • Henry IV. I will take your counsel.
    And, were these inward wars once out of hand, 1815
    We would, dear lords, unto the Holy Land. Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act III, Scene 2

Gloucestershire. Before Justice, SHALLOW’S house

      next scene .
---

Enter SHALLOW and SILENCE, meeting; MOULDY, SHADOW, WART, FEEBLE, BULLCALF, and servants behind

  • Robert Shallow. Come on, come on, come on; give me your hand, sir;
    your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by the rood! And how doth
    good cousin Silence? 1820
  • Silence. Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.
  • Robert Shallow. And how doth my cousin, your bed-fellow? and your
    daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen? 1825
  • Silence. Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!
  • Robert Shallow. By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin William is
    a good scholar; he is at Oxford still, is he not?
  • Robert Shallow. 'A must, then, to the Inns o' Court shortly. I was
    Clement's Inn; where I think they will talk of mad Shallow
  • Silence. You were call'd 'lusty Shallow' then, cousin.
  • Robert Shallow. By the mass, I was call'd anything; and I would have
    anything indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and little
    John Doit of Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and
    Pickbone, and Will Squele a Cotsole man—you had not four 1840
    swinge-bucklers in all the Inns of Court again. And I may say
    you we knew where the bona-robas were, and had the best of
    all at commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John,
    and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.
  • Silence. This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about
    soldiers?
  • Robert Shallow. The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break
    Scoggin's head at the court gate, when 'a was a crack not
    high; and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson 1855
    Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the
    days that I have spent! and to see how many of my old
    acquaintance are dead!
  • Silence. We shall all follow, cousin.
  • Robert Shallow. Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure. Death, as
    Psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall die. How a good
    of bullocks at Stamford fair?
  • Silence. By my troth, I was not there.
  • Robert Shallow. Jesu, Jesu, dead! drew a good bow; and dead! 'A shot a
    fine shoot. John a Gaunt loved him well, and betted much
    his head. Dead! 'A would have clapp'd i' th' clout at twelve
    score, and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and
    and a half, that it would have done a man's heart good to 1875
    How a score of ewes now?
  • Silence. Thereafter as they be—a score of good ewes may be 1880
    ten pounds.

Enter BARDOLPH, and one with him

  • Silence. Here come two of Sir John Falstaffs men, as I think. 1885
  • Bardolph. I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?
  • Robert Shallow. I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of this
    and one of the King's justices of the peace. What is your
    pleasure with me? 1890
  • Bardolph. My captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain, Sir
    John Falstaff—a tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most
    leader. 1895
  • Robert Shallow. He greets me well, sir; I knew him a good back-sword
    How doth the good knight? May I ask how my lady his wife
  • Bardolph. Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than
    wife.
  • Robert Shallow. It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said
    too. 'Better accommodated!' It is good; yea, indeed, is it. 1905
    phrases are surely, and ever were, very commendable.
    'Accommodated!' It comes of accommodo. Very good; a good
  • Bardolph. Pardon, sir; I have heard the word. 'Phrase' call you
    By this day, I know not the phrase; but I will maintain the
    with my sword to be a soldier-like word, and a word of
    good command, by heaven. Accommodated: that is, when a man
    they say, accommodated; or, when a man is being-whereby 'a 1915
    thought to be accommodated; which is an excellent thing.

Enter FALSTAFF

  • Robert Shallow. It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir John. Give
    your good hand, give me your worship's good hand. By my
    you like well and bear your years very well. Welcome, good 1925
    John.
  • Falstaff. I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert 1930
    Master Surecard, as I think?
  • Robert Shallow. No, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.
  • Falstaff. Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of
    peace. 1935
  • Silence. Your good worship is welcome.
  • Falstaff. Fie! this is hot weather. Gentlemen, have you
    here half a dozen sufficient men?
  • Falstaff. Let me see them, I beseech you.
  • Robert Shallow. Where's the roll? Where's the roll? Where's the roll?
    me see, let me see, let me see. So, so, so, so,—so, so—yea,
    marry, sir. Rafe Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them 1945
    so, let them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?
  • Robert Shallow. What think you, Sir John? A good-limb'd fellow; young, 1950
    strong, and of good friends.
  • Falstaff. 'Tis the more time thou wert us'd.
  • Robert Shallow. Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! Things that are 1955
    mouldy lack use. Very singular good! In faith, well said, Sir
    John; very well said.
  • Ralph Mouldy. I was prick'd well enough before, an you could have let
    alone. My old dame will be undone now for one to do her 1960
    and her drudgery. You need not to have prick'd me; there are
    other men fitter to go out than I.
  • Falstaff. Go to; peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is 1965
    you were spent.
  • Robert Shallow. Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside; know you where you
    For th' other, Sir John—let me see. Simon Shadow! 1970
  • Falstaff. Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under. He's like
    a cold soldier.
  • Falstaff. Thy mother's son! Like enough; and thy father's
    So the son of the female is the shadow of the male. It is 1980
    so indeed; but much of the father's substance!
  • Falstaff. Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him; for we have 1985
    number of shadows fill up the muster-book.
  • Falstaff. It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon 1995
    back, and the whole frame stands upon pins. Prick him no
  • Robert Shallow. Ha, ha, ha! You can do it, sir; you can do it. I
    you well. Francis Feeble! 2000
  • Falstaff. You may; but if he had been a man's tailor, he'd ha'
    prick'd you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's
    thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?
  • Francis Feeble. I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more. 2010
  • Falstaff. Well said, good woman's tailor! well said, courageous
    Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most
    magnanimous mouse. Prick the woman's tailor—well, Master
    Shallow, deep, Master Shallow.
  • Falstaff. I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst
    him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private
    soldier, that is the leader of so many thousands. Let that
    suffice, most forcible Feeble.
  • Falstaff. I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?
  • Falstaff. Yea, marry, let's see Bullcalf.
  • Falstaff. Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf
    he roar again.
  • Falstaff. What, dost thou roar before thou art prick'd? 2030
  • Peter Bullcalf. A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught
    ringing in the King's affairs upon his coronation day, sir.
  • Falstaff. Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown. We will
    away thy cold; and I will take such order that thy friends
    ring for thee. Is here all?
  • Robert Shallow. Here is two more call'd than your number. You must
    but four here, sir; and so, I pray you, go in with me to
  • Falstaff. Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry 2045
    dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.
  • Robert Shallow. O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night in
    windmill in Saint George's Field?
  • Falstaff. No more of that, Master Shallow, no more of that. 2050
  • Robert Shallow. Ha, 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?
  • Falstaff. Never, never; she would always say she could not
    Master Shallow. 2055
  • Robert Shallow. By the mass, I could anger her to th' heart. She was
    a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well?
  • Falstaff. Old, old, Master Shallow. 2060
  • Robert Shallow. Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old;
    certain she's old; and had Robin Nightwork, by old Nightwork,
    before I came to Clement's Inn.
  • Silence. That's fifty-five year ago.
  • Robert Shallow. Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that 2065
    knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?
  • Falstaff. We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.
  • Robert Shallow. That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith,
    John, we have. Our watchword was 'Hem, boys!' Come, let's to 2070
    dinner; come, let's to dinner. Jesus, the days that we have
    Come, come.

Exeunt FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES

  • Peter Bullcalf. Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and
    here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In
    truth, sir, I had as lief be hang'd, sir, as go. And yet, for
    mine own part, sir, I do not care; but rather because I am
    unwilling and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with 2080
    friends; else, sir, I did not care for mine own part so much.
  • Ralph Mouldy. And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my old dame's 2085
    stand my friend. She has nobody to do anything about her when
    am gone; and she is old, and cannot help herself. You shall
    forty, sir.
  • Francis Feeble. By my troth, I care not; a man can die but once; we owe
    a death. I'll ne'er bear a base mind. An't be my destiny, so;
    an't be not, so. No man's too good to serve 's Prince; and, 2095
    it go which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for
    next.
  • Bardolph. Well said; th'art a good fellow.

Re-enter FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES

  • Falstaff. Come, sir, which men shall I have?
  • Bardolph. Sir, a word with you. I have three pound to free
    and Bullcalf.
  • Falstaff. Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home
    you are past service; and for your part, Bullcalf, grow you
    unto it. I will none of you. 2115
  • Robert Shallow. Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong. They are
    likeliest men, and I would have you serv'd with the best.
  • Falstaff. Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a
    Care I for the limb, the thews, the stature, bulk, and big
    assemblance of a man! Give me the spirit, Master Shallow.
    Wart; you see what a ragged appearance it is. 'A shall charge
    and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's hammer, 2125
    off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's
    And this same half-fac'd fellow, Shadow—give me this man. He
    presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great
    level at the edge of a penknife. And, for a retreat—how
    will this Feeble, the woman's tailor, run off! O, give me the 2130
    spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into
    Wart's hand, Bardolph.
  • Bardolph. Hold, Wart. Traverse—thus, thus, thus. 2140
  • Falstaff. Come, manage me your caliver. So—very well. Go to;
    good; exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old,
    chopt, bald shot. Well said, i' faith, Wart; th'art a good
    Hold, there's a tester for thee.
  • Robert Shallow. He is not his craft's master, he doth not do it right.
    remember at Mile-end Green, when I lay at Clement's Inn—I
    then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show—there was a little quiver
    fellow, and 'a would manage you his piece thus; and 'a would 2150
    about and about, and come you in and come you in. 'Rah, tah,
    tah!' would 'a say; 'Bounce!' would 'a say; and away again
    'a go, and again would 'a come. I shall ne'er see such a
  • Falstaff. These fellows will do well. Master Shallow, God keep
    Master Silence, I will not use many words with you: Fare you
    well! Gentlemen both, I thank you. I must a dozen mile 2160
    Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.
  • Robert Shallow. Sir John, the Lord bless you; God prosper your
    God send us peace! At your return, visit our house; let our 2165
    acquaintance be renewed. Peradventure I will with ye to the
    court.
  • Falstaff. Fore God, would you would. 2170
  • Falstaff. Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. [Exeunt JUSTICES] On,
    Bardolph; lead the men away. [Exeunt all but FALSTAFF] As I
    return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see the bottom of
    justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this 2175
    vice of lying! This same starv'd justice hath done nothing but
    prate to me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath
    done about Turnbull Street; and every third word a lie, duer paid
    to the hearer than the Turk's tribute. I do remember him at
    Clement's Inn, like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring. 2180
    When 'a was naked, he was for all the world like a fork'd radish,
    with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife. 'A was so
    forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were invisible. 'A
    was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the
    whores call'd him mandrake. 'A came ever in the rearward of the 2185
    fashion, and sung those tunes to the overscutch'd huswifes that
    he heard the carmen whistle, and sware they were his fancies or
    his good-nights. And now is this Vice's dagger become a squire,
    and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn
    brother to him; and I'll be sworn 'a ne'er saw him but once in 2190
    the Tiltyard; and then he burst his head for crowding among the
    marshal's men. I saw it, and told John a Gaunt he beat his own
    name; for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into an
    eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a
    court—and now has he land and beeves. Well, I'll be acquainted 2195
    with him if I return; and 't shall go hard but I'll make him a
    philosopher's two stones to me. If the young dace be a bait for
    the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap
    at him. Let time shape, and there an end. Exit
---
. previous scene      

Act IV, Scene 1

Yorkshire. Within the Forest of Gaultree

      next scene .
---

Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF YORK, MOWBRAY, HASTINGS, and others

  • Lord Hastings. 'Tis Gaultree Forest, an't shall please your Grace.
  • Archbishop Scroop. Here stand, my lords, and send discoverers forth
    To know the numbers of our enemies.
  • Archbishop Scroop. 'Tis well done.
    My friends and brethren in these great affairs,
    I must acquaint you that I have receiv'd
    New-dated letters from Northumberland;
    Their cold intent, tenour, and substance, thus: 2210
    Here doth he wish his person, with such powers
    As might hold sortance with his quality,
    The which he could not levy; whereupon
    He is retir'd, to ripe his growing fortunes,
    To Scotland; and concludes in hearty prayers 2215
    That your attempts may overlive the hazard
    And fearful meeting of their opposite.
  • Lord Mowbray. Thus do the hopes we have in him touch ground
    And dash themselves to pieces.

Enter A MESSENGER

  • Messenger. West of this forest, scarcely off a mile,
    In goodly form comes on the enemy;
    And, by the ground they hide, I judge their number
    Upon or near the rate of thirty thousand. 2225
  • Lord Mowbray. The just proportion that we gave them out.
    Let us sway on and face them in the field.

Enter WESTMORELAND

  • Earl of Westmoreland. Health and fair greeting from our general,
    The Prince, Lord John and Duke of Lancaster.
  • Archbishop Scroop. Say on, my Lord of Westmoreland, in peace,
    What doth concern your coming.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. Then, my lord, 2235
    Unto your Grace do I in chief address
    The substance of my speech. If that rebellion
    Came like itself, in base and abject routs,
    Led on by bloody youth, guarded with rags,
    And countenanc'd by boys and beggary- 2240
    I say, if damn'd commotion so appear'd
    In his true, native, and most proper shape,
    You, reverend father, and these noble lords,
    Had not been here to dress the ugly form
    Of base and bloody insurrection 2245
    With your fair honours. You, Lord Archbishop,
    Whose see is by a civil peace maintain'd,
    Whose beard the silver hand of peace hath touch'd,
    Whose learning and good letters peace hath tutor'd,
    Whose white investments figure innocence, 2250
    The dove, and very blessed spirit of peace-
    Wherefore you do so ill translate yourself
    Out of the speech of peace, that bears such grace,
    Into the harsh and boist'rous tongue of war;
    Turning your books to graves, your ink to blood, 2255
    Your pens to lances, and your tongue divine
    To a loud trumpet and a point of war?
  • Archbishop Scroop. Wherefore do I this? So the question stands.
    Briefly to this end: we are all diseas'd
    And with our surfeiting and wanton hours 2260
    Have brought ourselves into a burning fever,
    And we must bleed for it; of which disease
    Our late King, Richard, being infected, died.
    But, my most noble Lord of Westmoreland,
    I take not on me here as a physician; 2265
    Nor do I as an enemy to peace
    Troop in the throngs of military men;
    But rather show awhile like fearful war
    To diet rank minds sick of happiness,
    And purge th' obstructions which begin to stop 2270
    Our very veins of life. Hear me more plainly.
    I have in equal balance justly weigh'd
    What wrongs our arms may do, what wrongs we suffer,
    And find our griefs heavier than our offences.
    We see which way the stream of time doth run 2275
    And are enforc'd from our most quiet there
    By the rough torrent of occasion;
    And have the summary of all our griefs,
    When time shall serve, to show in articles;
    Which long ere this we offer'd to the King, 2280
    And might by no suit gain our audience:
    When we are wrong'd, and would unfold our griefs,
    We are denied access unto his person,
    Even by those men that most have done us wrong.
    The dangers of the days but newly gone, 2285
    Whose memory is written on the earth
    With yet appearing blood, and the examples
    Of every minute's instance, present now,
    Hath put us in these ill-beseeming arms;
    Not to break peace, or any branch of it, 2290
    But to establish here a peace indeed,
    Concurring both in name and quality.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. When ever yet was your appeal denied;
    Wherein have you been galled by the King;
    What peer hath been suborn'd to grate on you 2295
    That you should seal this lawless bloody book
    Of forg'd rebellion with a seal divine,
    And consecrate commotion's bitter edge?
  • Archbishop Scroop. My brother general, the commonwealth,
    To brother horn an household cruelty, 2300
    I make my quarrel in particular.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. There is no need of any such redress;
    Or if there were, it not belongs to you.
  • Lord Mowbray. Why not to him in part, and to us all
    That feel the bruises of the days before, 2305
    And suffer the condition of these times
    To lay a heavy and unequal hand
    Upon our honours?
  • Earl of Westmoreland. O my good Lord Mowbray,
    Construe the times to their necessities, 2310
    And you shall say, indeed, it is the time,
    And not the King, that doth you injuries.
    Yet, for your part, it not appears to me,
    Either from the King or in the present time,
    That you should have an inch of any ground 2315
    To build a grief on. Were you not restor'd
    To all the Duke of Norfolk's signiories,
    Your noble and right well-rememb'red father's?
  • Lord Mowbray. What thing, in honour, had my father lost
    That need to be reviv'd and breath'd in me? 2320
    The King that lov'd him, as the state stood then,
    Was force perforce compell'd to banish him,
    And then that Henry Bolingbroke and he,
    Being mounted and both roused in their seats,
    Their neighing coursers daring of the spur, 2325
    Their armed staves in charge, their beavers down,
    Their eyes of fire sparkling through sights of steel,
    And the loud trumpet blowing them together—
    Then, then, when there was nothing could have stay'd
    My father from the breast of Bolingbroke, 2330
    O, when the King did throw his warder down—
    His own life hung upon the staff he threw—
    Then threw he down himself, and all their lives
    That by indictment and by dint of sword
    Have since miscarried under Bolingbroke. 2335
  • Earl of Westmoreland. You speak, Lord Mowbray, now you know not what.
    The Earl of Hereford was reputed then
    In England the most valiant gentleman.
    Who knows on whom fortune would then have smil'd?
    But if your father had been victor there, 2340
    He ne'er had borne it out of Coventry;
    For all the country, in a general voice,
    Cried hate upon him; and all their prayers and love
    Were set on Hereford, whom they doted on,
    And bless'd and grac'd indeed more than the King. 2345
    But this is mere digression from my purpose.
    Here come I from our princely general
    To know your griefs; to tell you from his Grace
    That he will give you audience; and wherein
    It shall appear that your demands are just, 2350
    You shall enjoy them, everything set off
    That might so much as think you enemies.
  • Lord Mowbray. But he hath forc'd us to compel this offer;
    And it proceeds from policy, not love.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. Mowbray. you overween to take it so. 2355
    This offer comes from mercy, not from fear;
    For, lo! within a ken our army lies-
    Upon mine honour, all too confident
    To give admittance to a thought of fear.
    Our battle is more full of names than yours, 2360
    Our men more perfect in the use of arms,
    Our armour all as strong, our cause the best;
    Then reason will our hearts should be as good.
    Say you not, then, our offer is compell'd.
  • Lord Mowbray. Well, by my will we shall admit no parley. 2365
  • Lord Hastings. Hath the Prince John a full commission,
    In very ample virtue of his father,
    To hear and absolutely to determine 2370
    Of what conditions we shall stand upon?
  • Earl of Westmoreland. That is intended in the general's name.
    I muse you make so slight a question.
  • Archbishop Scroop. Then take, my Lord of Westmoreland, this schedule,
    For this contains our general grievances. 2375
    Each several article herein redress'd,
    All members of our cause, both here and hence,
    That are insinewed to this action,
    Acquitted by a true substantial form,
    And present execution of our wills 2380
    To us and to our purposes confin'd-
    We come within our awful banks again,
    And knit our powers to the arm of peace.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. This will I show the general. Please you, lords,
    In sight of both our battles we may meet; 2385
    And either end in peace—which God so frame!-
    Or to the place of diff'rence call the swords
    Which must decide it.
  • Lord Mowbray. There is a thing within my bosom tells me 2390
    That no conditions of our peace can stand.
  • Lord Hastings. Fear you not that: if we can make our peace
    Upon such large terms and so absolute
    As our conditions shall consist upon,
    Our peace shall stand as firm as rocky mountains. 2395
  • Lord Mowbray. Yea, but our valuation shall be such
    That every slight and false-derived cause,
    Yea, every idle, nice, and wanton reason,
    Shall to the King taste of this action;
    That, were our royal faiths martyrs in love, 2400
    We shall be winnow'd with so rough a wind
    That even our corn shall seem as light as chaff,
    And good from bad find no partition.
  • Archbishop Scroop. No, no, my lord. Note this: the King is weary
    Of dainty and such picking grievances; 2405
    For he hath found to end one doubt by death
    Revives two greater in the heirs of life;
    And therefore will he wipe his tables clean,
    And keep no tell-tale to his memory
    That may repeat and history his los 2410
    To new remembrance. For full well he knows
    He cannot so precisely weed this land
    As his misdoubts present occasion:
    His foes are so enrooted with his friends
    That, plucking to unfix an enemy, 2415
    He doth unfasten so and shake a friend.
    So that this land, like an offensive wife
    That hath enrag'd him on to offer strokes,
    As he is striking, holds his infant up,
    And hangs resolv'd correction in the arm 2420
    That was uprear'd to execution.
  • Lord Hastings. Besides, the King hath wasted all his rods
    On late offenders, that he now doth lack
    The very instruments of chastisement;
    So that his power, like to a fangless lion, 2425
    May offer, but not hold.
  • Archbishop Scroop. 'Tis very true;
    And therefore be assur'd, my good Lord Marshal,
    If we do now make our atonement well,
    Our peace will, like a broken limb united, 2430
    Grow stronger for the breaking.
  • Lord Mowbray. Be it so.
    Here is return'd my Lord of Westmoreland.

Re-enter WESTMORELAND

  • Earl of Westmoreland. The Prince is here at hand. Pleaseth your 2435
    To meet his Grace just distance 'tween our armies?
  • Lord Mowbray. Your Grace of York, in God's name then, set forward.

Exeunt

---
. previous scene      

Act IV, Scene 2

Another part of the forest

      next scene .
---

Enter, from one side, MOWBRAY, attended; afterwards, the ARCHBISHOP, HASTINGS, and others; from the other side, PRINCE JOHN of LANCASTER, WESTMORELAND, OFFICERS, and others

  • Prince John. You are well encount'red here, my cousin Mowbray.
    Good day to you, gentle Lord Archbishop;
    And so to you, Lord Hastings, and to all.
    My Lord of York, it better show'd with you 2445
    When that your flock, assembled by the bell,
    Encircled you to hear with reverence
    Your exposition on the holy text
    Than now to see you here an iron man,
    Cheering a rout of rebels with your drum, 2450
    Turning the word to sword, and life to death.
    That man that sits within a monarch's heart
    And ripens in the sunshine of his favour,
    Would he abuse the countenance of the king,
    Alack, what mischiefs might he set abroach 2455
    In shadow of such greatness! With you, Lord Bishop,
    It is even so. Who hath not heard it spoken
    How deep you were within the books of God?
    To us the speaker in His parliament,
    To us th' imagin'd voice of God himself, 2460
    The very opener and intelligencer
    Between the grace, the sanctities of heaven,
    And our dull workings. O, who shall believe
    But you misuse the reverence of your place,
    Employ the countenance and grace of heav'n 2465
    As a false favourite doth his prince's name,
    In deeds dishonourable? You have ta'en up,
    Under the counterfeited zeal of God,
    The subjects of His substitute, my father,
    And both against the peace of heaven and him 2470
    Have here up-swarm'd them.
  • Archbishop Scroop. Good my Lord of Lancaster,
    I am not here against your father's peace;
    But, as I told my Lord of Westmoreland,
    The time misord'red doth, in common sense, 2475
    Crowd us and crush us to this monstrous form
    To hold our safety up. I sent your Grace
    The parcels and particulars of our grief,
    The which hath been with scorn shov'd from the court,
    Whereon this hydra son of war is born; 2480
    Whose dangerous eyes may well be charm'd asleep
    With grant of our most just and right desires;
    And true obedience, of this madness cur'd,
    Stoop tamely to the foot of majesty.
  • Lord Mowbray. If not, we ready are to try our fortunes 2485
    To the last man.
  • Lord Hastings. And though we here fall down,
    We have supplies to second our attempt.
    If they miscarry, theirs shall second them;
    And so success of mischief shall be born, 2490
    And heir from heir shall hold this quarrel up
    Whiles England shall have generation.
  • Prince John. YOU are too shallow, Hastings, much to shallow,
    To sound the bottom of the after-times.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. Pleaseth your Grace to answer them directly 2495
    How far forth you do like their articles.
  • Prince John. I like them all and do allow them well;
    And swear here, by the honour of my blood,
    My father's purposes have been mistook;
    And some about him have too lavishly 2500
    Wrested his meaning and authority.
    My lord, these griefs shall be with speed redress'd;
    Upon my soul, they shall. If this may please you,
    Discharge your powers unto their several counties,
    As we will ours; and here, between the armies, 2505
    Let's drink together friendly and embrace,
    That all their eyes may bear those tokens home
    Of our restored love and amity.
  • Prince John. I give it you, and will maintain my word; 2510
    And thereupon I drink unto your Grace.
  • Lord Hastings. Go, Captain, and deliver to the army
    This news of peace. Let them have pay, and part.
    I know it will please them. Hie thee, Captain.

Exit Officer

  • Earl of Westmoreland. I pledge your Grace; and if you knew what pains
    I have bestow'd to breed this present peace,
    You would drink freely; but my love to ye
    Shall show itself more openly hereafter. 2520
  • Lord Mowbray. You wish me health in very happy season,
    For I am on the sudden something ill. 2525
  • Archbishop Scroop. Against ill chances men are ever merry;
    But heaviness foreruns the good event.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. Therefore be merry, coz; since sudden sorrow
    Serves to say thus, 'Some good thing comes to-morrow.'

[Shouts within]

  • Prince John. The word of peace is rend'red. Hark, how they
  • Archbishop Scroop. A peace is of the nature of a conquest;
    For then both parties nobly are subdu'd,
    And neither party loser.
  • Prince John. Go, my lord,
    And let our army be discharged too. 2540
    [Exit WESTMORELAND]
    And, good my lord, so please you let our trains
    March by us, that we may peruse the men
    We should have cop'd withal.
  • Archbishop Scroop. Go, good Lord Hastings, 2545
    And, ere they be dismiss'd, let them march by.

Exit HASTINGS

  • Prince John. I trust, lords, we shall lie to-night together.
    [Re-enter WESTMORELAND]
    Now, cousin, wherefore stands our army still? 2550
  • Earl of Westmoreland. The leaders, having charge from you to stand,
    Will not go off until they hear you speak.

Re-enter HASTINGS

  • Lord Hastings. My lord, our army is dispers'd already. 2555
    Like youthful steers unyok'd, they take their courses
    East, west, north, south; or like a school broke up,
    Each hurries toward his home and sporting-place.
  • Earl of Westmoreland. Good tidings, my Lord Hastings; for the which
    I do arrest thee, traitor, of high treason; 2560
    And you, Lord Archbishop, and you, Lord Mowbray,
    Of capital treason I attach you both.
  • Prince John. I pawn'd thee none:
    I promis'd you redress of these same grievances
    Whereof you did complain; which, by mine honour,
    I will perform with a most Christian care.
    But for you, rebels—look to taste the due 2570
    Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours.
    Most shallowly did you these arms commence,
    Fondly brought here, and foolishly sent hence.
    Strike up our drums, pursue the scatt'red stray.
    God, and not we, hath safely fought to-day. 2575
    Some guard these traitors to the block of death,
    Treason's true bed and yielder-up of breath. Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act IV, Scene 3

Another part of the forest

      next scene .
---

Alarum; excursions. Enter FALSTAFF and COLVILLE, meeting

  • Falstaff. What's your name, sir? Of what condition are you, and
    what place, I pray? 2580
  • Falstaff. Well then, Colville is your name, a knight is your
    degree, and your place the Dale. Colville shall still be your 2585
    name, a traitor your degree, and the dungeon your place—a
    deep enough; so shall you be still Colville of the Dale.
  • Falstaff. As good a man as he, sir, whoe'er I am. Do you yield, 2590
    sir, or shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat, they are the
    of thy lovers, and they weep for thy death; therefore rouse
    fear and trembling, and do observance to my mercy.
  • Falstaff. I have a whole school of tongues in this belly of
    and not a tongue of them all speaks any other word but my 2600
    An I had but a belly of any indifferency, I were simply the
    active fellow in Europe. My womb, my womb, my womb undoes me.
    Here comes our general.

Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER, WESTMORELAND, BLUNT, and others

  • Prince John. The heat is past; follow no further now.
    Call in the powers, good cousin Westmoreland.
    [Exit WESTMORELAND] 2610
    Now, Falstaff, where have you been all this while?
    When everything is ended, then you come.
    These tardy tricks of yours will, on my life,
    One time or other break some gallows' back.
  • Falstaff. I would be sorry, my lord, but it should be thus: I 2615
    knew yet but rebuke and check was the reward of valour. Do
    think me a swallow, an arrow, or a bullet? Have I, in my poor
    old motion, the expedition of thought? I have speeded hither
    the very extremest inch of possibility; I have found'red nine
    score and odd posts; and here, travel tainted as I am, have, 2620
    my pure and immaculate valour, taken Sir John Colville of the
    Dale,a most furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of
    He saw me, and yielded; that I may justly say with the
    fellow of Rome-I came, saw, and overcame.
  • Prince John. It was more of his courtesy than your deserving.
  • Falstaff. I know not. Here he is, and here I yield him; and I
    beseech your Grace, let it be book'd with the rest of this
    deeds; or, by the Lord, I will have it in a particular ballad 2635
    else, with mine own picture on the top on't, Colville kissing
    foot; to the which course if I be enforc'd, if you do not all
    show like gilt twopences to me, and I, in the clear sky of
    o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth the cinders of
    element, which show like pins' heads to her, believe not the 2640
    of the noble. Therefore let me have right, and let desert
  • Falstaff. Let it do something, my good lord, that may do me
    and call it what you will.
  • Falstaff. And a famous true subject took him.
  • Sir John Colville. I am, my lord, but as my betters are
    That led me hither. Had they been rul'd by me,
    You should have won them dearer than you have. 2660
  • Falstaff. I know not how they sold themselves; but thou, like a
    kind fellow, gavest thyself away gratis; and I thank thee for
    thee.

Re-enter WESTMORELAND

  • Prince John. Send Colville, with his confederates,
    To York, to present execution.
    Blunt, lead him hence; and see you guard him sure.
    [Exeunt BLUNT and others] 2670
    And now dispatch we toward the court, my lords.
    I hear the King my father is sore sick.
    Our news shall go before us to his Majesty,
    Which, cousin, you shall bear to comfort him
    And we with sober speed will follow you. 2675
  • Falstaff. My lord, I beseech you, give me leave to go through
    Gloucestershire; and, when you come to court, stand my good
    pray, in your good report.
  • Prince John. Fare you well, Falstaff. I, in my condition, 2680
    Shall better speak of you than you deserve.

Exeunt all but FALSTAFF

  • Falstaff. I would you had but the wit; 'twere better than your
    dukedom. Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth
    love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh—but that's no 2685
    he drinks no wine. There's never none of these demure boys
    to any proof; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood,
    making many fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male
    green-sickness; and then, when they marry, they get wenches.
    are generally fools and cowards-which some of us should be 2690
    but for inflammation. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold
    operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there
    the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it;
    apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and
    delectable shapes; which delivered o'er to the voice, the 2695
    which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second
    your excellent sherris is the warming of the blood; which
    cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the
    badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris warms
    and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes. 2700
    illumineth the face, which, as a beacon, gives warning to all
    rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital
    commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their
    captain, the heart, who, great and puff'd up with this
    doth any deed of courage—and this valour comes of sherris. 2705
    that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that
    it a-work; and learning, a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil
    till sack commences it and sets it in act and use. Hereof
    it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did
    naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, sterile, 2710
    bare land, manured, husbanded, and till'd, with excellent
    endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris,
    that he is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand
    the first humane principle I would teach them should be to
    forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack. 2715
    [Enter BARDOLPH]
    How now, Bardolph!
  • Bardolph. The army is discharged all and gone.
  • Falstaff. Let them go. I'll through Gloucestershire, and there
    I visit Master Robert Shallow, Esquire. I have him already 2740
    temp'ring between my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I
    with him. Come away. Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act IV, Scene 4

Westminster. The Jerusalem Chamber

      next scene .
---

Enter the KING, PRINCE THOMAS OF CLARENCE, PRINCE HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER, WARWICK, and others

  • Henry IV. Now, lords, if God doth give successful end
    To this debate that bleedeth at our doors,
    We will our youth lead on to higher fields,
    And draw no swords but what are sanctified.
    Our navy is address'd, our power connected, 2750
    Our substitutes in absence well invested,
    And everything lies level to our wish.
    Only we want a little personal strength;
    And pause us till these rebels, now afoot,
    Come underneath the yoke of government. 2755
  • Earl of Warwick. Both which we doubt not but your Majesty
    Shall soon enjoy.
  • Henry IV. Humphrey, my son of Gloucester,
    Where is the Prince your brother?
  • Henry IV. Is not his brother, Thomas of Clarence, with him?
  • Henry IV. Nothing but well to thee, Thomas of Clarence.
    How chance thou art not with the Prince thy brother?
    He loves thee, and thou dost neglect him, Thomas.
    Thou hast a better place in his affection 2770
    Than all thy brothers; cherish it, my boy,
    And noble offices thou mayst effect
    Of mediation, after I am dead,
    Between his greatness and thy other brethren.
    Therefore omit him not; blunt not his love, 2775
    Nor lose the good advantage of his grace
    By seeming cold or careless of his will;
    For he is gracious if he be observ'd.
    He hath a tear for pity and a hand
    Open as day for melting charity; 2780
    Yet notwithstanding, being incens'd, he is flint;
    As humorous as winter, and as sudden
    As flaws congealed in the spring of day.
    His temper, therefore, must be well observ'd.
    Chide him for faults, and do it reverently, 2785
    When you perceive his blood inclin'd to mirth;
    But, being moody, give him line and scope
    Till that his passions, like a whale on ground,
    Confound themselves with working. Learn this, Thomas,
    And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends, 2790
    A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in,
    That the united vessel of their blood,
    Mingled with venom of suggestion—
    As, force perforce, the age will pour it in—
    Shall never leak, though it do work as strong 2795
    As aconitum or rash gunpowder.
  • Henry IV. Why art thou not at Windsor with him, Thomas?
  • Henry IV. And how accompanied? Canst thou tell that? 2800
  • Henry IV. Most subject is the fattest soil to weeds;
    And he, the noble image of my youth,
    Is overspread with them; therefore my grief
    Stretches itself beyond the hour of death. 2805
    The blood weeps from my heart when I do shape,
    In forms imaginary, th'unguided days
    And rotten times that you shall look upon
    When I am sleeping with my ancestors.
    For when his headstrong riot hath no curb, 2810
    When rage and hot blood are his counsellors
    When means and lavish manners meet together,
    O, with what wings shall his affections fly
    Towards fronting peril and oppos'd decay!
  • Earl of Warwick. My gracious lord, you look beyond him quite. 2815
    The Prince but studies his companions
    Like a strange tongue, wherein, to gain the language,
    'Tis needful that the most immodest word
    Be look'd upon and learnt; which once attain'd,
    Your Highness knows, comes to no further use 2820
    But to be known and hated. So, like gross terms,
    The Prince will, in the perfectness of time,
    Cast off his followers; and their memory
    Shall as a pattern or a measure live
    By which his Grace must mete the lives of other, 2825
    Turning past evils to advantages.
  • Henry IV. 'Tis seldom when the bee doth leave her comb
    In the dead carrion.
    [Enter WESTMORELAND]
    Who's here? Westmoreland? 2830
  • Earl of Westmoreland. Health to my sovereign, and new happiness
    Added to that that am to deliver!
    Prince John, your son, doth kiss your Grace's hand.
    Mowbray, the Bishop Scroop, Hastings, and all,
    Are brought to the correction of your law. 2835
    There is not now a rebel's sword unsheath'd,
    But Peace puts forth her olive everywhere.
    The manner how this action hath been borne
    Here at more leisure may your Highness read,
    With every course in his particular. 2840
  • Henry IV. O Westmoreland, thou art a summer bird,
    Which ever in the haunch of winter sings
    The lifting up of day.
    [Enter HARCOURT]
    Look here's more news. 2845
  • Harcourt. From enemies heaven keep your Majesty;
    And, when they stand against you, may they fall
    As those that I am come to tell you of!
    The Earl Northumberland and the Lord Bardolph,
    With a great power of English and of Scots, 2850
    Are by the shrieve of Yorkshire overthrown.
    The manner and true order of the fight
    This packet, please it you, contains at large.
  • Henry IV. And wherefore should these good news make me sick?
    Will Fortune never come with both hands full, 2855
    But write her fair words still in foulest letters?
    She either gives a stomach and no food-
    Such are the poor, in health—or else a feast,
    And takes away the stomach—such are the rich
    That have abundance and enjoy it not. 2860
    I should rejoice now at this happy news;
    And now my sight fails, and my brain is giddy.
    O me! come near me now I am much ill.
  • Earl of Warwick. Be patient, Princes; you do know these fits
    Are with his Highness very ordinary.
    Stand from him, give him air; he'll straight be well.
  • Prince Thomas. No, no; he cannot long hold out these pangs. 2870
    Th' incessant care and labour of his mind
    Hath wrought the mure that should confine it in
    So thin that life looks through, and will break out.
  • Prince Humphrey. The people fear me; for they do observe
    Unfather'd heirs and loathly births of nature. 2875
    The seasons change their manners, as the year
    Had found some months asleep, and leapt them over.
  • Prince Thomas. The river hath thrice flow'd, no ebb between;
    And the old folk, Time's doting chronicles,
    Say it did so a little time before 2880
    That our great grandsire, Edward, sick'd and died.
  • Henry IV. I pray you take me up, and bear me hence
    Into some other chamber. Softly, pray. Exeunt 2885
---
. previous scene      

Act IV, Scene 5

Westminster. Another chamber

      next scene .
---

The KING lying on a bed; CLARENCE, GLOUCESTER, WARWICK, and others in attendance

  • Henry IV. Let there be no noise made, my gentle friends;
    Unless some dull and favourable hand
    Will whisper music to my weary spirit.
  • Henry IV. Set me the crown upon my pillow here.

Enter PRINCE HENRY

  • Henry V. Who saw the Duke of Clarence? 2895
  • Henry V. How now! Rain within doors, and none abroad!
    How doth the King?
  • Henry V. Heard he the good news yet? Tell it him. 2900
  • Henry V. If he be sick with joy, he'll recover without physic.
  • Earl of Warwick. Not so much noise, my lords. Sweet Prince, speak low;
    The King your father is dispos'd to sleep.
  • Henry V. No; I will sit and watch here by the King.
    [Exeunt all but the PRINCE]
    Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow,
    Being so troublesome a bedfellow? 2910
    O polish'd perturbation! golden care!
    That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide
    To many a watchful night! Sleep with it now!
    Yet not so sound and half so deeply sweet
    As he whose brow with homely biggen bound 2915
    Snores out the watch of night. O majesty!
    When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit
    Like a rich armour worn in heat of day
    That scald'st with safety. By his gates of breath
    There lies a downy feather which stirs not. 2920
    Did he suspire, that light and weightless down
    Perforce must move. My gracious lord! my father!
    This sleep is sound indeed; this is a sleep
    That from this golden rigol hath divorc'd
    So many English kings. Thy due from me 2925
    Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood
    Which nature, love, and filial tenderness,
    Shall, O dear father, pay thee plenteously.
    My due from thee is this imperial crown,
    Which, as immediate from thy place and blood, 2930
    Derives itself to me. [Putting on the crown] Lo where it
    Which God shall guard; and put the world's whole strength
    Into one giant arm, it shall not force
    This lineal honour from me. This from thee
    Will I to mine leave as 'tis left to me. Exit 2935
  • Henry IV. Warwick! Gloucester! Clarence!

Re-enter WARWICK, GLOUCESTER, CLARENCE

  • Henry IV. Why did you leave me here alone, my lords?
  • Prince Thomas. We left the Prince my brother here, my liege,
    Who undertook to sit and watch by you.
  • Henry IV. The Prince of Wales! Where is he? Let me see him.
    He is not here. 2945
  • Henry IV. Where is the crown? Who took it from my pillow?
  • Henry IV. The Prince hath ta'en it hence. Go, seek him out.
    Is he so hasty that he doth suppose
    My sleep my death?
    Find him, my lord of Warwick; chide him hither.
    [Exit WARWICK] 2955
    This part of his conjoins with my disease
    And helps to end me. See, sons, what things you are!
    How quickly nature falls into revolt
    When gold becomes her object!
    For this the foolish over-careful fathers 2960
    Have broke their sleep with thoughts,
    Their brains with care, their bones with industry;
    For this they have engrossed and pil'd up
    The cank'red heaps of strange-achieved gold;
    For this they have been thoughtful to invest 2965
    Their sons with arts and martial exercises;
    When, like the bee, tolling from every flower
    The virtuous sweets,
    Our thighs with wax, our mouths with honey pack'd,
    We bring it to the hive, and, like the bees, 2970
    Are murd'red for our pains. This bitter taste
    Yields his engrossments to the ending father.
    [Re-enter WARWICK]
    Now where is he that will not stay so long
    Till his friend sickness hath determin'd me? 2975
  • Earl of Warwick. My lord, I found the Prince in the next room,
    Washing with kindly tears his gentle cheeks,
    With such a deep demeanour in great sorrow,
    That tyranny, which never quaff'd but blood,
    Would, by beholding him, have wash'd his knife 2980
    With gentle eye-drops. He is coming hither.
  • Henry IV. But wherefore did he take away the crown?
    [Re-enter PRINCE HENRY]
    Lo where he comes. Come hither to me, Harry.
    Depart the chamber, leave us here alone. 2985

Exeunt all but the KING and the PRINCE

  • Henry V. I never thought to hear you speak again.
  • Henry IV. Thy wish was father, Harry, to that thought.
    I stay too long by thee, I weary thee.
    Dost thou so hunger for mine empty chair 2990
    That thou wilt needs invest thee with my honours
    Before thy hour be ripe? O foolish youth!
    Thou seek'st the greatness that will overwhelm thee.
    Stay but a little, for my cloud of dignity
    Is held from falling with so weak a wind 2995
    That it will quickly drop; my day is dim.
    Thou hast stol'n that which, after some few hours,
    Were thine without offense; and at my death
    Thou hast seal'd up my expectation.
    Thy life did manifest thou lov'dst me not, 3000
    And thou wilt have me die assur'd of it.
    Thou hid'st a thousand daggers in thy thoughts,
    Which thou hast whetted on thy stony heart,
    To stab at half an hour of my life.
    What, canst thou not forbear me half an hour? 3005
    Then get thee gone, and dig my grave thyself;
    And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear
    That thou art crowned, not that I am dead.
    Let all the tears that should bedew my hearse
    Be drops of balm to sanctify thy head; 3010
    Only compound me with forgotten dust;
    Give that which gave thee life unto the worms.
    Pluck down my officers, break my decrees;
    For now a time is come to mock at form-
    Harry the Fifth is crown'd. Up, vanity: 3015
    Down, royal state. All you sage counsellors, hence.
    And to the English court assemble now,
    From every region, apes of idleness.
    Now, neighbour confines, purge you of your scum.
    Have you a ruffian that will swear, drink, dance, 3020
    Revel the night, rob, murder, and commit
    The oldest sins the newest kind of ways?
    Be happy, he will trouble you no more.
    England shall double gild his treble guilt;
    England shall give him office, honour, might; 3025
    For the fifth Harry from curb'd license plucks
    The muzzle of restraint, and the wild dog
    Shall flesh his tooth on every innocent.
    O my poor kingdom, sick with civil blows!
    When that my care could not withhold thy riots, 3030
    What wilt thou do when riot is thy care?
    O, thou wilt be a wilderness again.
    Peopled with wolves, thy old inhabitants!
  • Henry V. O, pardon me, my liege! But for my tears,
    The moist impediments unto my speech, 3035
    I had forestall'd this dear and deep rebuke
    Ere you with grief had spoke and I had heard
    The course of it so far. There is your crown,
    And he that wears the crown immortally
    Long guard it yours! [Kneeling] If I affect it more 3040
    Than as your honour and as your renown,
    Let me no more from this obedience rise,
    Which my most inward true and duteous spirit
    Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending!
    God witness with me, when I here came in 3045
    And found no course of breath within your Majesty,
    How cold it struck my heart! If I do feign,
    O, let me in my present wildness die,
    And never live to show th' incredulous world
    The noble change that I have purposed! 3050
    Coming to look on you, thinking you dead-
    And dead almost, my liege, to think you were-
    I spake unto this crown as having sense,
    And thus upbraided it: 'The care on thee depending
    Hath fed upon the body of my father; 3055
    Therefore thou best of gold art worst of gold.
    Other, less fine in carat, is more precious,
    Preserving life in med'cine potable;
    But thou, most fine, most honour'd, most renown'd,
    Hast eat thy bearer up.' Thus, my most royal liege, 3060
    Accusing it, I put it on my head,
    To try with it—as with an enemy
    That had before my face murd'red my father—
    The quarrel of a true inheritor.
    But if it did infect my blood with joy, 3065
    Or swell my thoughts to any strain of pride;
    If any rebel or vain spirit of mine
    Did with the least affection of a welcome
    Give entertainment to the might of it,
    Let God for ever keep it from my head, 3070
    And make me as the poorest vassal is,
    That doth with awe and terror kneel to it!
  • Henry IV. O my son,
    God put it in thy mind to take it hence,
    That thou mightst win the more thy father's love, 3075
    Pleading so wisely in excuse of it!
    Come hither, Harry; sit thou by my bed,
    And hear, I think, the very latest counsel
    That ever I shall breathe. God knows, my son,
    By what by-paths and indirect crook'd ways 3080
    I met this crown; and I myself know well
    How troublesome it sat upon my head:
    To thee it shall descend with better quiet,
    Better opinion, better confirmation;
    For all the soil of the achievement goes 3085
    With me into the earth. It seem'd in me
    But as an honour snatch'd with boist'rous hand;
    And I had many living to upbraid
    My gain of it by their assistances;
    Which daily grew to quarrel and to bloodshed, 3090
    Wounding supposed peace. All these bold fears
    Thou seest with peril I have answered;
    For all my reign hath been but as a scene
    Acting that argument. And now my death
    Changes the mood; for what in me was purchas'd 3095
    Falls upon thee in a more fairer sort;
    So thou the garland wear'st successively.
    Yet, though thou stand'st more sure than I could do,
    Thou art not firm enough, since griefs are green;
    And all my friends, which thou must make thy friends, 3100
    Have but their stings and teeth newly ta'en out;
    By whose fell working I was first advanc'd,
    And by whose power I well might lodge a fear
    To be again displac'd; which to avoid,
    I cut them off; and had a purpose now 3105
    To lead out many to the Holy Land,
    Lest rest and lying still might make them look
    Too near unto my state. Therefore, my Harry,
    Be it thy course to busy giddy minds
    With foreign quarrels, that action, hence borne out, 3110
    May waste the memory of the former days.
    More would I, but my lungs are wasted so
    That strength of speech is utterly denied me.
    How I came by the crown, O God, forgive;
    And grant it may with thee in true peace live! 3115
  • Henry V. My gracious liege,
    You won it, wore it, kept it, gave it me;
    Then plain and right must my possession be;
    Which I with more than with a common pain
    'Gainst all the world will rightfully maintain. 3120
    Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER, WARWICK, LORDS, and others
  • Henry IV. Look, look, here comes my John of Lancaster.
  • Prince John. Health, peace, and happiness, to my royal father!
  • Henry IV. Thou bring'st me happiness and peace, son John;
    But health, alack, with youthful wings is flown 3125
    From this bare wither'd trunk. Upon thy sight
    My worldly business makes a period.
    Where is my Lord of Warwick?
  • Henry IV. Doth any name particular belong 3130
    Unto the lodging where I first did swoon?
  • Henry IV. Laud be to God! Even there my life must end.
    It hath been prophesied to me many years,
    I should not die but in Jerusalem; 3135
    Which vainly I suppos'd the Holy Land.
    But bear me to that chamber; there I'll lie;
    In that Jerusalem shall Harry die. Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act V, Scene 1

Gloucestershire. SHALLOW’S house

      next scene .
---

Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and PAGE

  • Robert Shallow. By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night. 3140
    What, Davy, I say!
  • Falstaff. You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
  • Robert Shallow. I will not excuse you; you shall not be excus'd;
    shall not be admitted; there is no excuse shall serve; you
    not be excus'd. Why, Davy! 3145

Enter DAVY

  • Robert Shallow. Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy; let me see, Davy; let me see, 3150
    Davy; let me see—yea, marry, William cook, bid him come
    Sir John, you shall not be excus'd.
  • Davy. Marry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served; and,
    again, sir—shall we sow the headland with wheat? 3155
  • Robert Shallow. With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook—are there
    young pigeons?
  • Davy. Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and
    plough-irons. 3160
  • Robert Shallow. Let it be cast, and paid. Sir John, you shall not be
    excused.
  • Davy. Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be had;
    sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages about the
    lost the other day at Hinckley fair? 3165
  • Robert Shallow. 'A shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple of
    short-legg'd hens, a joint of mutton, and any pretty little
    kickshaws, tell William cook. 3170
  • Davy. Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?
  • Robert Shallow. Yea, Davy; I will use him well. A friend i' th' court
    better than a penny in purse. Use his men well, Davy; for
    are arrant knaves and will backbite. 3175
  • Davy. No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they have
    marvellous foul linen.
  • Davy. I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of
    against Clement Perkes o' th' hill.
  • Robert Shallow. There, is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor.
    Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge. 3185
  • Davy. I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but yet God
    forbid, sir, but a knave should have some countenance at his
    friend's request. An honest man, sir, is able to speak for
    himself, when a knave is not. I have serv'd your worship 3190
    sir, this eight years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter
    bear out a knave against an honest man, I have but a very
    credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest friend,
    therefore, I beseech you, let him be countenanc'd.
  • Davy. [Exit DAVY] Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come,
    with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph. 3200
  • Bardolph. I am glad to see your worship.
  • Robert Shallow. I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph.
    [To the PAGE] And welcome, my tall fellow. Come, Sir John.
  • Falstaff. I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. 3205
    [Exit SHALLOW] Bardolph, look to our horses. [Exeunt
    and PAGE]
    If I were sawed into quantities, I should make
    dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It
    wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's
    spirits and his. They, by observing of him, do bear 3210
    like foolish justices: he, by conversing with them, is turned
    into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married
    conjunction with the participation of society that they flock
    together in consent, like so many wild geese. If I had a suit
    Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation of 3215
    being near their master; if to his men, I would curry with
    Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is
    certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
    as men take diseases, one of another; therefore let men take
    of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this 3220
    to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of
    fashions, which is four terms, or two actions; and 'a shall
    without intervallums. O, it is much that a lie with a slight
    oath, and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that
    had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him laugh 3225
    his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!
  • Falstaff. I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.

Exit

---
. previous scene      

Act V, Scene 2

Westminster. The palace

      next scene .
---

Enter, severally, WARWICK, and the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

  • Earl of Warwick. He's walk'd the way of nature;
    And to our purposes he lives no more. 3250
  • Lord Chief Justice. I would his Majesty had call'd me with him.
    The service that I truly did his life
    Hath left me open to all injuries.
  • Lord Chief Justice. I know he doth not, and do arm myself 3255
    To welcome the condition of the time,
    Which cannot look more hideously upon me
    Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.

Enter LANCASTER, CLARENCE, GLOUCESTER, WESTMORELAND, and others

  • Earl of Warwick. Here comes the heavy issue of dead Harry. 3260
    O that the living Harry had the temper
    Of he, the worst of these three gentlemen!
    How many nobles then should hold their places
    That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!
  • Prince John. Good morrow, cousin Warwick, good morrow.
  • Prince John. We meet like men that had forgot to speak.
  • Earl of Warwick. We do remember; but our argument
    Is all too heavy to admit much talk. 3270
  • Prince John. Well, peace be with him that hath made us heavy!
  • Prince Humphrey. O, good my lord, you have lost a friend
    And I dare swear you borrow not that face
    Of seeming sorrow—it is sure your own. 3275
  • Prince John. Though no man be assur'd what grace to find,
    You stand in coldest expectation.
    I am the sorrier; would 'twere otherwise.
  • Prince Thomas. Well, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair; 3280
    Which swims against your stream of quality.
  • Lord Chief Justice. Sweet Princes, what I did, I did in honour,
    Led by th' impartial conduct of my soul;
    And never shall you see that I will beg
    A ragged and forestall'd remission. 3285
    If truth and upright innocency fail me,
    I'll to the King my master that is dead,
    And tell him who hath sent me after him.

Enter KING HENRY THE FIFTH, attended

  • Henry IV. This new and gorgeous garment, majesty,
    Sits not so easy on me as you think.
    Brothers, you mix your sadness with some fear.
    This is the English, not the Turkish court; 3295
    Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds,
    But Harry Harry. Yet be sad, good brothers,
    For, by my faith, it very well becomes you.
    Sorrow so royally in you appears
    That I will deeply put the fashion on, 3300
    And wear it in my heart. Why, then, be sad;
    But entertain no more of it, good brothers,
    Than a joint burden laid upon us all.
    For me, by heaven, I bid you be assur'd,
    I'll be your father and your brother too; 3305
    Let me but bear your love, I'll bear your cares.
    Yet weep that Harry's dead, and so will I;
    But Harry lives that shall convert those tears
    By number into hours of happiness.
  • Brothers. We hope no otherwise from your Majesty. 3310
  • Henry V. You all look strangely on me; and you most.
    You are, I think, assur'd I love you not.
  • Lord Chief Justice. I am assur'd, if I be measur'd rightly,
    Your Majesty hath no just cause to hate me.
  • Henry V. No? 3315
    How might a prince of my great hopes forget
    So great indignities you laid upon me?
    What, rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison,
    Th' immediate heir of England! Was this easy?
    May this be wash'd in Lethe and forgotten? 3320
  • Lord Chief Justice. I then did use the person of your father;
    The image of his power lay then in me;
    And in th' administration of his law,
    Whiles I was busy for the commonwealth,
    Your Highness pleased to forget my place, 3325
    The majesty and power of law and justice,
    The image of the King whom I presented,
    And struck me in my very seat of judgment;
    Whereon, as an offender to your father,
    I gave bold way to my authority 3330
    And did commit you. If the deed were ill,
    Be you contented, wearing now the garland,
    To have a son set your decrees at nought,
    To pluck down justice from your awful bench,
    To trip the course of law, and blunt the sword 3335
    That guards the peace and safety of your person;
    Nay, more, to spurn at your most royal image,
    And mock your workings in a second body.
    Question your royal thoughts, make the case yours;
    Be now the father, and propose a son; 3340
    Hear your own dignity so much profan'd,
    See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted,
    Behold yourself so by a son disdain'd;
    And then imagine me taking your part
    And, in your power, soft silencing your son. 3345
    After this cold considerance, sentence me;
    And, as you are a king, speak in your state
    What I have done that misbecame my place,
    My person, or my liege's sovereignty.
  • Henry V. You are right, Justice, and you weigh this well; 3350
    Therefore still bear the balance and the sword;
    And I do wish your honours may increase
    Till you do live to see a son of mine
    Offend you, and obey you, as I did.
    So shall I live to speak my father's words: 3355
    'Happy am I that have a man so bold
    That dares do justice on my proper son;
    And not less happy, having such a son
    That would deliver up his greatness so
    Into the hands of justice.' You did commit me; 3360
    For which I do commit into your hand
    Th' unstained sword that you have us'd to bear;
    With this remembrance—that you use the same
    With the like bold, just, and impartial spirit
    As you have done 'gainst me. There is my hand. 3365
    You shall be as a father to my youth;
    My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear;
    And I will stoop and humble my intents
    To your well-practis'd wise directions.
    And, Princes all, believe me, I beseech you, 3370
    My father is gone wild into his grave,
    For in his tomb lie my affections;
    And with his spirits sadly I survive,
    To mock the expectation of the world,
    To frustrate prophecies, and to raze out 3375
    Rotten opinion, who hath writ me down
    After my seeming. The tide of blood in me
    Hath proudly flow'd in vanity till now.
    Now doth it turn and ebb back to the sea,
    Where it shall mingle with the state of floods, 3380
    And flow henceforth in formal majesty.
    Now call we our high court of parliament;
    And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel,
    That the great body of our state may go
    In equal rank with the best govern'd nation; 3385
    That war, or peace, or both at once, may be
    As things acquainted and familiar to us;
    In which you, father, shall have foremost hand.
    Our coronation done, we will accite,
    As I before rememb'red, all our state; 3390
    And—God consigning to my good intents-
    No prince nor peer shall have just cause to say,
    God shorten Harry's happy life one day. Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act V, Scene 3

Gloucestershire. SHALLOW’S orchard

      next scene .
---

Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, BARDOLPH, the PAGE, and DAVY

  • Robert Shallow. Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we 3395
    will eat a last year's pippin of mine own graffing, with a
    of caraways, and so forth. Come, cousin Silence. And then to
  • Falstaff. Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and rich. 3400
  • Robert Shallow. Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir
    -marry, good air. Spread, Davy, spread, Davy; well said,
  • Falstaff. This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your 3405
    serving-man and your husband.
  • Robert Shallow. A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir
    John. By the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper. A
    varlet. Now sit down, now sit down; come, cousin.
  • Silence. Ah, sirrah! quoth-a—we shall [Singing]
    Do nothing but eat and make good cheer,
    And praise God for the merry year;
    When flesh is cheap and females dear,
    And lusty lads roam here and there, 3415
    So merrily,
    And ever among so merrily.
  • Falstaff. There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll give
    a health for that anon.
  • Davy. Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon; most sweet sir,
    Master Page, good Master Page, sit. Proface! What you want in
    meat, we'll have in drink. But you must bear; the heart's
  • Robert Shallow. Be merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier
    be merry.
  • Silence. [Singing]
    Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;
    For women are shrews, both short and tall;
    'Tis merry in hall when beards wag an;
    And welcome merry Shrove-tide. 3435
    Be merry, be merry.
  • Falstaff. I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this
    mettle.
  • Silence. Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.

Re-enter DAVY

  • Davy. [To BARDOLPH] There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
  • Davy. Your worship! I'll be with you straight. [To BARDOLPH]
    A cup of wine, sir?
  • Silence. [Singing] 3445
    A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
    And drink unto the leman mine;
    And a merry heart lives long-a.
  • Silence. An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' th' 3450
  • Falstaff. Health and long life to you, Master Silence!
  • Silence. [Singing]
    Fill the cup, and let it come,
    I'll pledge you a mile to th' bottom. 3455
  • Robert Shallow. Honest Bardolph, welcome; if thou want'st anything and
    wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome, my little tiny
    and welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master Bardolph, and to
    the cabileros about London.
  • Davy. I hope to see London once ere I die.
  • Bardolph. An I might see you there, Davy!
  • Robert Shallow. By the mass, you'll crack a quart together—ha! will
    not, Master Bardolph? 3465
  • Robert Shallow. By God's liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick
    thee, I can assure thee that. 'A will not out, 'a; 'tis true
    bred. 3470
  • Robert Shallow. Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing; be merry.
    [One knocks at door] Look who's at door there, ho! Who

Exit DAVY

  • Falstaff. [To SILENCE, who has drunk a bumper] Why, now you
    done me right.
  • Silence. [Singing] 3480
    Do me right,
    And dub me knight.
    Samingo.
    Is't not so?
  • Silence. Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.

Re-enter DAVY

  • Davy. An't please your worship, there's one Pistol come from
    court with news.
  • Falstaff. From the court? Let him come in.
    [Enter PISTOL]
    How now, Pistol?
  • Pistol. Sir John, God save you!
  • Falstaff. What wind blew you hither, Pistol? 3495
  • Pistol. Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet
    thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
  • Silence. By'r lady, I think 'a be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
  • Pistol. Puff! 3500
    Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
    Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
    And helter-skelter have I rode to thee;
    And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
    And golden times, and happy news of price. 3505
  • Falstaff. I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this
  • Pistol. A foutra for the world and worldlings base!
    I speak of Africa and golden joys.
  • Falstaff. O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news? 3510
    Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
  • Silence. [Singing] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
  • Pistol. Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
    And shall good news be baffled?
    Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap. 3515
  • Pistol. Why, then, lament therefore.
  • Robert Shallow. Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from
    court, I take it there's but two ways—either to utter them
    conceal them. I am, sir, under the King, in some authority. 3520
  • Pistol. Under which king, Bezonian? Speak, or die.
  • Pistol. Harry the Fourth—or Fifth? 3525
  • Pistol. A foutra for thine office!
    Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King;
    Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
    When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like 3530
    The bragging Spaniard.
  • Pistol. As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
  • Falstaff. Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert
    choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, 3535
    will double-charge thee with dignities.
  • Bardolph. O joyful day!
    I would not take a knighthood for my fortune. 3540
  • Pistol. What, I do bring good news?
  • Falstaff. Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord
    Shallow, be what thou wilt—I am Fortune's steward. Get on
    boots; we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
    [Exit BARDOLPH] Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal 3545
    devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master
    I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man's
    horses: the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed
    they that have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief
  • Pistol. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
    'Where is the life that late I led?' say they. 3555
    Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt
---
. previous scene      

Act V, Scene 4

London. A street

      next scene .
---

Enter BEADLES, dragging in HOSTESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET

  • Hostess Quickly. No, thou arrant knave; I would to God that I might die,
    that I might have thee hang'd. Thou hast drawn my shoulder out of
    joint. 3560
  • First Beadle. The constables have delivered her over to me; and she
    shall have whipping-cheer enough, I warrant her. There hath been
    a man or two lately kill'd about her.
  • Doll Tearsheet. Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie. Come on; I'll tell thee what,
    thou damn'd tripe-visag'd rascal, an the child I now go with do 3565
    miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst struck thy mother, thou
    paper-fac'd villain.
  • Hostess Quickly. O the Lord, that Sir John were come! He would make this a
    bloody day to somebody. But I pray God the fruit of her womb
    miscarry! 3570
  • First Beadle. If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions again;
    you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you both go with me; for
    the man is dead that you and Pistol beat amongst you.
  • Doll Tearsheet. I'll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will have you
    as soundly swing'd for this—you blue-bottle rogue, you filthy 3575
    famish'd correctioner, if you be not swing'd, I'll forswear
    half-kirtles.
  • Hostess Quickly. O God, that right should thus overcome might!
    Well, of sufferance comes ease. 3580
---
. previous scene      

Act V, Scene 5

Westminster. Near the Abbey

       
---

Enter GROOMS, strewing rushes

  • Third Groom. 'Twill be two o'clock ere they come from the 3590
    coronation. Dispatch, dispatch. Exeunt

Trumpets sound, and the KING and his train pass over the stage. After them enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and page

  • Falstaff. Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will make the
    King do you grace. I will leer upon him, as 'a comes by; and do
    but mark the countenance that he will give me. 3595
  • Pistol. God bless thy lungs, good knight!
  • Falstaff. Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. [To SHALLOW] O, if
    I had had to have made new liveries, I would have bestowed the
    thousand pound I borrowed of you. But 'tis no matter; this poor
    show doth better; this doth infer the zeal I had to see him. 3600
  • Falstaff. It shows my earnestness of affection-
  • Falstaff. As it were, to ride day and night; and not to
    not to remember, not to have patience to shift me—
  • Falstaff. But to stand stained with travel, and sweating with 3610
    desire to see him; thinking of nothing else, putting all
    else in oblivion, as if there were nothing else to be done
    see him.
  • Pistol. 'Tis 'semper idem' for 'obsque hoc nihil est.' 'Tis all
    every part.
  • Pistol. My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver 3620
    And make thee rage.
    Thy Doll, and Helen of thy noble thoughts,
    Is in base durance and contagious prison;
    Hal'd thither
    By most mechanical and dirty hand. 3625
    Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's snake,
    For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.

[Shouts,within, and the trumpets sound]

  • Pistol. There roar'd the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds. 3630

Enter the KING and his train, the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE among them

  • Falstaff. God save thy Grace, King Hal; my royal Hal!
  • Pistol. The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of
  • Falstaff. God save thee, my sweet boy! 3635
  • Henry V. My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that vain man.
  • Falstaff. My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
  • Henry V. I know thee not, old man. Fall to thy prayers. 3640
    How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
    I have long dreamt of such a kind of man,
    So surfeit-swell'd, so old, and so profane;
    But being awak'd, I do despise my dream.
    Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace; 3645
    Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
    For thee thrice wider than for other men—
    Reply not to me with a fool-born jest;
    Presume not that I am the thing I was,
    For God doth know, so shall the world perceive, 3650
    That I have turn'd away my former self;
    So will I those that kept me company.
    When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
    Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
    The tutor and the feeder of my riots. 3655
    Till then I banish thee, on pain of death,
    As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
    Not to come near our person by ten mile.
    For competence of life I will allow you,
    That lack of means enforce you not to evils; 3660
    And, as we hear you do reform yourselves,
    We will, according to your strengths and qualities,
    Give you advancement. Be it your charge, my lord,
    To see perform'd the tenour of our word.
    Set on. Exeunt the KING and his train 3665
  • Falstaff. Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pounds.
  • Robert Shallow. Yea, marry, Sir John; which I beseech you to let me
    home with me.
  • Falstaff. That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not you grieve 3670
    this; I shall be sent for in private to him. Look you, he
    seem thus to the world. Fear not your advancements; I will be
    man yet that shall make you great.
  • Robert Shallow. I cannot perceive how, unless you give me your
    and stuff me out with straw. I beseech you, good Sir John,
    have five hundred of my thousand.
  • Falstaff. Sir, I will be as good as my word. This that you
    was but a colour.
  • Falstaff. Fear no colours; go with me to dinner. Come,
    Pistol; come, Bardolph. I shall be sent for soon at night.

Re-enter PRINCE JOHN, the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE, with officers

  • Lord Chief Justice. Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet; 3690
    Take all his company along with him.
  • Pistol. Si fortuna me tormenta, spero me contenta. 3695

Exeunt all but PRINCE JOHN and the LORD CHIEF JUSTICE

  • Prince John. I like this fair proceeding of the King's.
    He hath intent his wonted followers
    Shall all be very well provided for;
    But all are banish'd till their conversations 3700
    Appear more wise and modest to the world.
  • Prince John. The King hath call'd his parliament, my lord.
  • Prince John. I will lay odds that, ere this year expire, 3705
    We bear our civil swords and native fire
    As far as France. I heard a bird so sing,
    Whose music, to my thinking, pleas'd the King.
    Come, will you hence? Exeunt

EPILOGUE.

  • Dancer. First my fear, then my curtsy, last my speech. My fear, is your
    displeasure; my curtsy, my duty; and my speech, to beg your pardons.
    If you look for a good speech now, you undo me; for what I have
    to say is of mine own making; and what, indeed, I should say will, I doubt,
    prove mine own marring. But to the purpose, and so to the 3715
    venture.

    Be it known to you, as it is very well, I was lately here in the
    end of a displeasing play, to pray your patience for it and to
    promise you a better. I meant, indeed, to pay you with this; which if like an 3720
    ill venture it come unluckily home, I break, and you, my gentle
    creditors, lose. Here I promis'd you I would be, and here I
    commit my body to your mercies. Bate me some, and I will pay you some,
    and, as most debtors do, promise you infinitely; and so I kneel down
    before you—but, indeed, to pray for the Queen. 3725

    If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me, will you command
    me to use my legs? And yet that were but light payment—to dance out of
    your debt. But a good conscience will make any possible
    satisfaction, and so would I. All the gentlewomen here have 3730
    forgiven me. If the gentlemen will not, then the gentlemen do not agree
    with the gentlewomen, which was never seen before in such an assembly.

    One word more, I beseech you. If you be not too much cloy'd
    with fat meat, our humble author will continue the story, with Sir John in 3735
    it, and make you merry with fair Katherine of France; where, for
    anything I know, Falstaff shall die of a sweat, unless already 'a
    be killed with your hard opinions; for Oldcastle died a martyr and
    this is not the man. My tongue is weary; when my legs are too, I will
    bid you good night. 3740

THE END

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