Speeches (Lines) for Launce in "Two Gentlemen of Verona"
Total: 68
|
# |
Act, Scene, Line
(Click to see in context) |
Speech text |
1 |
II,3,593 |
Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;
all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I
have received my proportion, like the prodigious
son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's
court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured
dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
wringing her hands, and all our house in a great
perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed
one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and
has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have
wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam,
having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my
parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This
shoe is my father: no, this left shoe is my father:
no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay, that
cannot be so neither: yes, it is so, it is so, it
hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in
it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance
on't! there 'tis: now, sit, this staff is my
sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and
as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I
am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the
dog—Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so,
so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing:
now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping:
now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now
come I to my mother: O, that she could speak now
like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there
'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down. Now
come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now
the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a
word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
|
2 |
II,3,631 |
It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
|
3 |
II,3,634 |
Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.
|
4 |
II,3,640 |
For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
|
5 |
II,3,642 |
In thy tale.
|
6 |
II,3,644 |
Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and
the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river
were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
|
7 |
II,3,649 |
Sir, call me what thou darest.
|
8 |
II,3,651 |
Well, I will go.
|
9 |
II,5,880 |
Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
say 'Welcome!'
|
10 |
II,5,889 |
Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
fairly in jest.
|
11 |
II,5,892 |
No.
|
12 |
II,5,894 |
No, neither.
|
13 |
II,5,896 |
No, they are both as whole as a fish.
|
14 |
II,5,898 |
Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
stands well with her.
|
15 |
II,5,901 |
What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
staff understands me.
|
16 |
II,5,904 |
Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
and my staff understands me.
|
17 |
II,5,907 |
Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
|
18 |
II,5,909 |
Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
|
19 |
II,5,912 |
Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
|
20 |
II,5,915 |
I never knew him otherwise.
|
21 |
II,5,917 |
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
|
22 |
II,5,919 |
Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
|
23 |
II,5,921 |
Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
name of a Christian.
|
24 |
II,5,926 |
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
|
25 |
III,1,1263 |
Soho, soho!
|
26 |
III,1,1265 |
Him we go to find: there's not a hair on's head
but 'tis a Valentine.
|
27 |
III,1,1273 |
Can nothing speak? Master, shall I strike?
|
28 |
III,1,1275 |
Nothing.
|
29 |
III,1,1277 |
Why, sir, I'll strike nothing: I pray you,—
|
30 |
III,1,1290 |
Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
|
31 |
III,1,1336 |
I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
which is much in a bare Christian.
[Pulling out a paper]
Here is the cate-log of her condition.
'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse
can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
with clean hands.
|
32 |
III,1,1357 |
With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.
|
33 |
III,1,1360 |
The blackest news that ever thou heardest.
|
34 |
III,1,1362 |
Why, as black as ink.
|
35 |
III,1,1364 |
Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.
|
36 |
III,1,1366 |
I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
|
37 |
III,1,1368 |
O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy
grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.
|
38 |
III,1,1371 |
There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!
|
39 |
III,1,1373 |
Ay, that she can.
|
40 |
III,1,1375 |
And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of your
heart, you brew good ale.'
|
41 |
III,1,1378 |
That's as much as to say, Can she so?
|
42 |
III,1,1380 |
What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when
she can knit him a stock?
|
43 |
III,1,1383 |
A special virtue: for then she need not be washed
and scoured.
|
44 |
III,1,1386 |
Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can
spin for her living.
|
45 |
III,1,1389 |
That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that,
indeed, know not their fathers and therefore have no names.
|
46 |
III,1,1392 |
Close at the heels of her virtues.
|
47 |
III,1,1395 |
Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on.
|
48 |
III,1,1397 |
That makes amends for her sour breath.
|
49 |
III,1,1399 |
It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.
|
50 |
III,1,1401 |
O villain, that set this down among her vices! To
be slow in words is a woman's only virtue: I pray
thee, out with't, and place it for her chief virtue.
|
51 |
III,1,1405 |
Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot
be ta'en from her.
|
52 |
III,1,1408 |
I care not for that neither, because I love crusts.
|
53 |
III,1,1410 |
Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
|
54 |
III,1,1412 |
If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I
will; for good things should be praised.
|
55 |
III,1,1415 |
Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she
is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that
I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may, and
that cannot I help. Well, proceed.
|
56 |
III,1,1421 |
Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not
mine, twice or thrice in that last article.
Rehearse that once more.
|
57 |
III,1,1425 |
More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The
cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it
is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit
is more than the wit, for the greater hides the
less. What's next?
|
58 |
III,1,1431 |
That's monstrous: O, that that were out!
|
59 |
III,1,1433 |
Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well,
I'll have her; and if it be a match, as nothing is
impossible,—
|
60 |
III,1,1437 |
Why, then will I tell thee—that thy master stays
for thee at the North-gate.
|
61 |
III,1,1440 |
For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a
better man than thee.
|
62 |
III,1,1443 |
Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long
that going will scarce serve the turn.
|
63 |
III,1,1447 |
Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; an
unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into
secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.
|
64 |
IV,4,1834 |
When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or
four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.
I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
'thus I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master;
and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he
steps me to her trencher and steals her capon's leg:
O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself
in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had
more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did,
I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I
live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
thrusts me himself into the company of three or four
gentlemanlike dogs under the duke's table: he had
not been there—bless the mark!—a pissing while, but
all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!' says
one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
out' says the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
I, having been acquainted with the smell before,
knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that
whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
the dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
the more wrong,' quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you
wot of.' He makes me no more ado, but whips me out
of the chamber. How many masters would do this for
his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the
trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
thou ever see me do such a trick?
|
65 |
IV,4,1881 |
Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.
|
66 |
IV,4,1883 |
Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
currish thanks is good enough for such a present.
|
67 |
IV,4,1886 |
No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
back again.
|
68 |
IV,4,1889 |
Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by
the hangman boys in the market-place: and then I
offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of
yours, and therefore the gift the greater.
|