Speeches (Lines) for Malvolio
in "Twelfth Night"
Total: 87

1

I,5,364

Olivia. What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not mend?

Malvolio. Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him:
infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the
better fool.

2

I,5,372

Olivia. How say you to that, Malvolio?

Malvolio. I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a
barren rascal: I saw him put down the other day
with an ordinary fool that has no more brain
than a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard
already; unless you laugh and minister occasion to
him, he is gagged. I protest, I take these wise men,
that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better
than the fools' zanies.

3

I,5,432

(stage directions). [Re-enter MALVOLIO]

Malvolio. Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with
you. I told him you were sick; he takes on him to
understand so much, and therefore comes to speak
with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems to
have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore
comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him,
lady? he's fortified against any denial.

4

I,5,440

Olivia. Tell him he shall not speak with me.

Malvolio. Has been told so; and he says, he'll stand at your
door like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter to
a bench, but he'll speak with you.

5

I,5,444

Olivia. What kind o' man is he?

Malvolio. Why, of mankind.

6

I,5,446

Olivia. What manner of man?

Malvolio. Of very ill manner; he'll speak with you, will you or no.

7

I,5,448

Olivia. Of what personage and years is he?

Malvolio. Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for
a boy; as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a
cooling when 'tis almost an apple: 'tis with him
in standing water, between boy and man. He is very
well-favoured and he speaks very shrewishly; one
would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him.

8

I,5,455

Olivia. Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman.

Malvolio. Gentlewoman, my lady calls.

9

I,5,596

(stage directions). [Re-enter MALVOLIO]

Malvolio. Here, madam, at your service.

10

I,5,604

Olivia. Run after that same peevish messenger,
The county's man: he left this ring behind him,
Would I or not: tell him I'll none of it.
Desire him not to flatter with his lord,
Nor hold him up with hopes; I am not for him:
If that the youth will come this way to-morrow,
I'll give him reasons for't: hie thee, Malvolio.

Malvolio. Madam, I will.

11

II,2,658

(stage directions). [Enter VIOLA, MALVOLIO following]

Malvolio. Were not you even now with the Countess Olivia?

12

II,2,661

Viola. Even now, sir; on a moderate pace I have since
arrived but hither.

Malvolio. She returns this ring to you, sir: you might have
saved me my pains, to have taken it away yourself.
She adds, moreover, that you should put your lord
into a desperate assurance she will none of him:
and one thing more, that you be never so hardy to
come again in his affairs, unless it be to report
your lord's taking of this. Receive it so.

13

II,2,669

Viola. She took the ring of me: I'll none of it.

Malvolio. Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her
will is, it should be so returned: if it be worth
stooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be
it his that finds it.

14

II,3,788

(stage directions). [Enter MALVOLIO]

Malvolio. My masters, are you mad? or what are you? Have ye
no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like
tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an
alehouse of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your
coziers' catches without any mitigation or remorse
of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor
time in you?

15

II,3,796

Sir Toby Belch. We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up!

Malvolio. Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me
tell you, that, though she harbours you as her
kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If
you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors, you
are welcome to the house; if not, an it would please
you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid
you farewell.

16

II,3,806

Feste. 'His eyes do show his days are almost done.'

Malvolio. Is't even so?

17

II,3,809

Feste. Sir Toby, there you lie.

Malvolio. This is much credit to you.

18

II,3,821

Sir Toby Belch. Thou'rt i' the right. Go, sir, rub your chain with
crumbs. A stoup of wine, Maria!

Malvolio. Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady's favour at any
thing more than contempt, you would not give means
for this uncivil rule: she shall know of it, by this hand.

19

II,5,1052

(stage directions). [Enter MALVOLIO]

Malvolio. 'Tis but fortune; all is fortune. Maria once told
me she did affect me: and I have heard herself come
thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one
of my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more
exalted respect than any one else that follows her.
What should I think on't?

20

II,5,1063

Sir Toby Belch. Peace, I say.

Malvolio. To be Count Malvolio!

21

II,5,1067

Sir Toby Belch. Peace, peace!

Malvolio. There is example for't; the lady of the Strachy
married the yeoman of the wardrobe.

22

II,5,1072

Fabian. O, peace! now he's deeply in: look how
imagination blows him.

Malvolio. Having been three months married to her, sitting in
my state,—

23

II,5,1075

Sir Toby Belch. O, for a stone-bow, to hit him in the eye!

Malvolio. Calling my officers about me, in my branched velvet
gown; having come from a day-bed, where I have left
Olivia sleeping,—

24

II,5,1080

Fabian. O, peace, peace!

Malvolio. And then to have the humour of state; and after a
demure travel of regard, telling them I know my
place as I would they should do theirs, to for my
kinsman Toby,—

25

II,5,1086

Fabian. O peace, peace, peace! now, now.

Malvolio. Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make
out for him: I frown the while; and perchance wind
up watch, or play with my—some rich jewel. Toby
approaches; courtesies there to me,—

26

II,5,1092

Fabian. Though our silence be drawn from us with cars, yet peace.

Malvolio. I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar
smile with an austere regard of control,—

27

II,5,1095

Sir Toby Belch. And does not Toby take you a blow o' the lips then?

Malvolio. Saying, 'Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on
your niece give me this prerogative of speech,'—

28

II,5,1098

Sir Toby Belch. What, what?

Malvolio. 'You must amend your drunkenness.'

29

II,5,1101

Fabian. Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot.

Malvolio. 'Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with
a foolish knight,'—

30

II,5,1104

Sir Andrew Aguecheek. That's me, I warrant you.

Malvolio. 'One Sir Andrew,'—

31

II,5,1106

Sir Andrew Aguecheek. I knew 'twas I; for many do call me fool.

Malvolio. What employment have we here?

32

II,5,1111

Sir Toby Belch. O, peace! and the spirit of humour intimate reading
aloud to him!

Malvolio. By my life, this is my lady's hand these be her
very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her
great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.

33

II,5,1115

Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Her C's, her U's and her T's: why that?

Malvolio. [Reads] 'To the unknown beloved, this, and my good
wishes:'—her very phrases! By your leave, wax.
Soft! and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she
uses to seal: 'tis my lady. To whom should this be?

34

II,5,1120

Fabian. This wins him, liver and all.

Malvolio. [Reads]
Jove knows I love: But who?
Lips, do not move;
No man must know.
'No man must know.' What follows? the numbers
altered! 'No man must know:' if this should be
thee, Malvolio?

35

II,5,1128

Sir Toby Belch. Marry, hang thee, brock!

Malvolio. [Reads]
I may command where I adore;
But silence, like a Lucrece knife,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:
M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.

36

II,5,1135

Sir Toby Belch. Excellent wench, say I.

Malvolio. 'M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.' Nay, but first, let
me see, let me see, let me see.

37

II,5,1139

Sir Toby Belch. And with what wing the staniel cheques at it!

Malvolio. 'I may command where I adore.' Why, she may command
me: I serve her; she is my lady. Why, this is
evident to any formal capacity; there is no
obstruction in this: and the end,—what should
that alphabetical position portend? If I could make
that resemble something in me,—Softly! M, O, A,
I,—

38

II,5,1149

Fabian. Sowter will cry upon't for all this, though it be as
rank as a fox.

Malvolio. M,—Malvolio; M,—why, that begins my name.

39

II,5,1152

Fabian. Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is
excellent at faults.

Malvolio. M,—but then there is no consonancy in the sequel;
that suffers under probation A should follow but O does.

40

II,5,1156

Sir Toby Belch. Ay, or I'll cudgel him, and make him cry O!

Malvolio. And then I comes behind.

41

II,5,1160

Fabian. Ay, an you had any eye behind you, you might see
more detraction at your heels than fortunes before
you.

Malvolio. M, O, A, I; this simulation is not as the former: and
yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for
every one of these letters are in my name. Soft!
here follows prose.
[Reads]
'If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I
am above thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some
are born great, some achieve greatness, and some
have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy Fates open
their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace them;
and, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be,
cast thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be
opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; let
thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into
the trick of singularity: she thus advises thee
that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy
yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever
cross-gartered: I say, remember. Go to, thou art
made, if thou desirest to be so; if not, let me see
thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and
not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell.
She that would alter services with thee,
THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.'
Daylight and champaign discovers not more: this is
open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors,
I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross
acquaintance, I will be point-devise the very man.
I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade
me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady
loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of
late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered;
and in this she manifests herself to my love, and
with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits
of her liking. I thank my stars I am happy. I will
be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and
cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting
on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a
postscript.
[Reads]
'Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou
entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling;
thy smiles become thee well; therefore in my
presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.'
Jove, I thank thee: I will smile; I will do
everything that thou wilt have me.

42

III,4,1563

Olivia. Go call him hither.
[Exit MARIA]
I am as mad as he,
If sad and merry madness equal be.
[Re-enter MARIA, with MALVOLIO]
How now, Malvolio!

Malvolio. Sweet lady, ho, ho.

43

III,4,1566

Olivia. Smilest thou?
I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.

Malvolio. Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some
obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but
what of that? if it please the eye of one, it is
with me as the very true sonnet is, 'Please one, and
please all.'

44

III,4,1572

Olivia. Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee?

Malvolio. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It
did come to his hands, and commands shall be
executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.

45

III,4,1576

Olivia. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?

Malvolio. To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.

46

III,4,1580

Maria. How do you, Malvolio?

Malvolio. At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.

47

III,4,1582

Maria. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?

Malvolio. 'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.

48

III,4,1584

Olivia. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio?

Malvolio. 'Some are born great,'—

49

III,4,1586

Olivia. Ha!

Malvolio. 'Some achieve greatness,'—

50

III,4,1588

Olivia. What sayest thou?

Malvolio. 'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'

51

III,4,1590

Olivia. Heaven restore thee!

Malvolio. 'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'—

52

III,4,1592

Olivia. Thy yellow stockings!

Malvolio. 'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'

53

III,4,1594

Olivia. Cross-gartered!

Malvolio. 'Go to thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'—

54

III,4,1596

Olivia. Am I made?

Malvolio. 'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'

55

III,4,1609

(stage directions). [Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA]

Malvolio. O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than
Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with
the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may
appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that
in the letter. 'Cast thy humble slough,' says she;
'be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants;
let thy tongue tang with arguments of state; put
thyself into the trick of singularity;' and
consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad
face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the
habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have
limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me
thankful! And when she went away now, 'Let this
fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio, nor
after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing
adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no
scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous
or unsafe circumstance—What can be said? Nothing
that can be can come between me and the full
prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the
doer of this, and he is to be thanked.

56

III,4,1636

Fabian. Here he is, here he is. How is't with you, sir?
how is't with you, man?

Malvolio. Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go
off.

57

III,4,1641

Maria. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not
I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a
care of him.

Malvolio. Ah, ha! does she so?

58

III,4,1646

Sir Toby Belch. Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal gently
with him: let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how
is't with you? What, man! defy the devil:
consider, he's an enemy to mankind.

Malvolio. Do you know what you say?

59

III,4,1652

Maria. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I
live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say.

Malvolio. How now, mistress!

60

III,4,1659

Sir Toby Belch. Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou, chuck?

Malvolio. Sir!

61

III,4,1664

Maria. Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.

Malvolio. My prayers, minx!

62

III,4,1666

Maria. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.

Malvolio. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow
things: I am not of your element: you shall know
more hereafter.

63

IV,2,2042

Sir Toby Belch. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

Malvolio. [Within] Who calls there?

64

IV,2,2045

Feste. Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio
the lunatic.

Malvolio. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.

65

IV,2,2049

Sir Toby Belch. Well said, Master Parson.

Malvolio. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir
Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me
here in hideous darkness.

66

IV,2,2056

Feste. Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most
modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones
that will use the devil himself with courtesy:
sayest thou that house is dark?

Malvolio. As hell, Sir Topas.

67

IV,2,2061

Feste. Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes,
and the clearstores toward the south north are as
lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of
obstruction?

Malvolio. I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark.

68

IV,2,2065

Feste. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness
but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than
the Egyptians in their fog.

Malvolio. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though
ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there
was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you
are: make the trial of it in any constant question.

69

IV,2,2070

Feste. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl?

Malvolio. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.

70

IV,2,2072

Feste. What thinkest thou of his opinion?

Malvolio. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

71

IV,2,2077

Feste. Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness:
thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will
allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest
thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.

Malvolio. Sir Topas, Sir Topas!

72

IV,2,2092

Feste. [Singing]
'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
Tell me how thy lady does.'

Malvolio. Fool!

73

IV,2,2094

Feste. 'My lady is unkind, perdy.'

Malvolio. Fool!

74

IV,2,2096

Feste. 'Alas, why is she so?'

Malvolio. Fool, I say!

75

IV,2,2098

Feste. 'She loves another'—Who calls, ha?

Malvolio. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my
hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink and paper:
as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to
thee for't.

76

IV,2,2103

Feste. Master Malvolio?

Malvolio. Ay, good fool.

77

IV,2,2105

Feste. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?

Malvolio. Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I
am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.

78

IV,2,2109

Feste. But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no
better in your wits than a fool.

Malvolio. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness,
send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to
face me out of my wits.

79

IV,2,2116

Feste. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.
Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore!
endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain
bibble babble.

Malvolio. Sir Topas!

80

IV,2,2120

Feste. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I,
sir? not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas.
Merry, amen. I will, sir, I will.

Malvolio. Fool, fool, fool, I say!

81

IV,2,2123

Feste. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am
shent for speaking to you.

Malvolio. Good fool, help me to some light and some paper: I
tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.

82

IV,2,2126

Feste. Well-a-day that you were, sir

Malvolio. By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper and
light; and convey what I will set down to my lady:
it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing
of letter did.

83

IV,2,2132

Feste. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you
not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit?

Malvolio. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true.

84

IV,2,2135

Feste. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his
brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink.

Malvolio. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I
prithee, be gone.

85

V,1,2539

Olivia. Ay, my lord, this same.
How now, Malvolio!

Malvolio. Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.

86

V,1,2542

Olivia. Have I, Malvolio? no.

Malvolio. Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that letter.
You must not now deny it is your hand:
Write from it, if you can, in hand or phrase;
Or say 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this: well, grant it then
And tell me, in the modesty of honour,
Why you have given me such clear lights of favour,
Bade me come smiling and cross-garter'd to you,
To put on yellow stockings and to frown
Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people;
And, acting this in an obedient hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
And made the most notorious geck and gull
That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why.

87

V,1,2590

Feste. Why, 'some are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrown upon them.' I was
one, sir, in this interlude; one Sir Topas, sir; but
that's all one. 'By the Lord, fool, I am not mad.'
But do you remember? 'Madam, why laugh you at such
a barren rascal? an you smile not, he's gagged:'
and thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges.

Malvolio. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you.