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All impediments in fancy's course
Are motives of more fancy.

      — All's Well that Ends Well, Act V Scene 3

History of Henry IV, Part I

Act III

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Scene 1. Bangor. The Archdeacon’s house.

Scene 2. London. The palace.

Scene 3. Eastcheap. The Boar’s-Head Tavern.

---
       

Act III, Scene 1

Bangor. The Archdeacon’s house.

      next scene .
---

[Enter HOTSPUR, WORCESTER, MORTIMER, and GLENDOWER]

  • Mortimer. These promises are fair, the parties sure,
    And our induction full of prosperous hope.
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Lord Mortimer, and cousin Glendower, 1545
    Will you sit down?
    And uncle Worcester: a plague upon it!
    I have forgot the map.
  • Glendower. No, here it is.
    Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur, 1550
    For by that name as oft as Lancaster
    Doth speak of you, his cheek looks pale and with
    A rising sigh he wisheth you in heaven.
  • Glendower. I cannot blame him: at my nativity 1555
    The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,
    Of burning cressets; and at my birth
    The frame and huge foundation of the earth
    Shaked like a coward.
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Why, so it would have done at the same season, if 1560
    your mother's cat had but kittened, though yourself
    had never been born.
  • Glendower. I say the earth did shake when I was born.
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). And I say the earth was not of my mind,
    If you suppose as fearing you it shook. 1565
  • Glendower. The heavens were all on fire, the earth did tremble.
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire,
    And not in fear of your nativity.
    Diseased nature oftentimes breaks forth
    In strange eruptions; oft the teeming earth 1570
    Is with a kind of colic pinch'd and vex'd
    By the imprisoning of unruly wind
    Within her womb; which, for enlargement striving,
    Shakes the old beldam earth and topples down
    Steeples and moss-grown towers. At your birth 1575
    Our grandam earth, having this distemperature,
    In passion shook.
  • Glendower. Cousin, of many men
    I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave
    To tell you once again that at my birth 1580
    The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes,
    The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds
    Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields.
    These signs have mark'd me extraordinary;
    And all the courses of my life do show 1585
    I am not in the roll of common men.
    Where is he living, clipp'd in with the sea
    That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Wales,
    Which calls me pupil, or hath read to me?
    And bring him out that is but woman's son 1590
    Can trace me in the tedious ways of art
    And hold me pace in deep experiments.
  • Mortimer. Peace, cousin Percy; you will make him mad. 1595
  • Glendower. I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
  • Glendower. Why, I can teach you, cousin, to command
    The devil. 1600
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil
    By telling truth: tell truth and shame the devil.
    If thou have power to raise him, bring him hither,
    And I'll be sworn I have power to shame him hence.
    O, while you live, tell truth and shame the devil! 1605
  • Mortimer. Come, come, no more of this unprofitable chat.
  • Glendower. Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head
    Against my power; thrice from the banks of Wye
    And sandy-bottom'd Severn have I sent him
    Bootless home and weather-beaten back. 1610
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Home without boots, and in foul weather too!
    How 'scapes he agues, in the devil's name?
  • Glendower. Come, here's the map: shall we divide our right
    According to our threefold order ta'en?
  • Mortimer. The archdeacon hath divided it 1615
    Into three limits very equally:
    England, from Trent and Severn hitherto,
    By south and east is to my part assign'd:
    All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore,
    And all the fertile land within that bound, 1620
    To Owen Glendower: and, dear coz, to you
    The remnant northward, lying off from Trent.
    And our indentures tripartite are drawn;
    Which being sealed interchangeably,
    A business that this night may execute, 1625
    To-morrow, cousin Percy, you and I
    And my good Lord of Worcester will set forth
    To meet your father and the Scottish power,
    As is appointed us, at Shrewsbury.
    My father Glendower is not ready yet, 1630
    Not shall we need his help these fourteen days.
    Within that space you may have drawn together
    Your tenants, friends and neighbouring gentlemen.
  • Glendower. A shorter time shall send me to you, lords:
    And in my conduct shall your ladies come; 1635
    From whom you now must steal and take no leave,
    For there will be a world of water shed
    Upon the parting of your wives and you.
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Methinks my moiety, north from Burton here,
    In quantity equals not one of yours: 1640
    See how this river comes me cranking in,
    And cuts me from the best of all my land
    A huge half-moon, a monstrous cantle out.
    I'll have the current in this place damm'd up;
    And here the smug and silver Trent shall run 1645
    In a new channel, fair and evenly;
    It shall not wind with such a deep indent,
    To rob me of so rich a bottom here.
  • Glendower. Not wind? it shall, it must; you see it doth.
  • Mortimer. Yea, but 1650
    Mark how he bears his course, and runs me up
    With like advantage on the other side;
    Gelding the opposed continent as much
    As on the other side it takes from you.
  • Earl of Worcester. Yea, but a little charge will trench him here 1655
    And on this north side win this cape of land;
    And then he runs straight and even.
  • Glendower. I can speak English, lord, as well as you; 1665
    For I was train'd up in the English court;
    Where, being but young, I framed to the harp
    Many an English ditty lovely well
    And gave the tongue a helpful ornament,
    A virtue that was never seen in you. 1670
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Marry,
    And I am glad of it with all my heart:
    I had rather be a kitten and cry mew
    Than one of these same metre ballad-mongers;
    I had rather hear a brazen canstick turn'd, 1675
    Or a dry wheel grate on the axle-tree;
    And that would set my teeth nothing on edge,
    Nothing so much as mincing poetry:
    'Tis like the forced gait of a shuffling nag.
  • Glendower. Come, you shall have Trent turn'd. 1680
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). I do not care: I'll give thrice so much land
    To any well-deserving friend;
    But in the way of bargain, mark ye me,
    I'll cavil on the ninth part of a hair.
    Are the indentures drawn? shall we be gone? 1685
  • Glendower. The moon shines fair; you may away by night:
    I'll haste the writer and withal
    Break with your wives of your departure hence:
    I am afraid my daughter will run mad,
    So much she doteth on her Mortimer. 1690

[Exit GLENDOWER]

  • Mortimer. Fie, cousin Percy! how you cross my father!
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). I cannot choose: sometime he angers me
    With telling me of the mouldwarp and the ant,
    Of the dreamer Merlin and his prophecies, 1695
    And of a dragon and a finless fish,
    A clip-wing'd griffin and a moulten raven,
    A couching lion and a ramping cat,
    And such a deal of skimble-skamble stuff
    As puts me from my faith. I tell you what; 1700
    He held me last night at least nine hours
    In reckoning up the several devils' names
    That were his lackeys: I cried 'hum,' and 'well, go to,'
    But mark'd him not a word. O, he is as tedious
    As a tired horse, a railing wife; 1705
    Worse than a smoky house: I had rather live
    With cheese and garlic in a windmill, far,
    Than feed on cates and have him talk to me
    In any summer-house in Christendom.
  • Mortimer. In faith, he is a worthy gentleman, 1710
    Exceedingly well read, and profited
    In strange concealments, valiant as a lion
    And as wondrous affable and as bountiful
    As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin?
    He holds your temper in a high respect 1715
    And curbs himself even of his natural scope
    When you come 'cross his humour; faith, he does:
    I warrant you, that man is not alive
    Might so have tempted him as you have done,
    Without the taste of danger and reproof: 1720
    But do not use it oft, let me entreat you.
  • Earl of Worcester. In faith, my lord, you are too wilful-blame;
    And since your coming hither have done enough
    To put him quite beside his patience.
    You must needs learn, lord, to amend this fault: 1725
    Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, blood,—
    And that's the dearest grace it renders you,—
    Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage,
    Defect of manners, want of government,
    Pride, haughtiness, opinion and disdain: 1730
    The least of which haunting a nobleman
    Loseth men's hearts and leaves behind a stain
    Upon the beauty of all parts besides,
    Beguiling them of commendation.
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Well, I am school'd: good manners be your speed! 1735
    Here come our wives, and let us take our leave.

[Re-enter GLENDOWER with the ladies]

  • Mortimer. This is the deadly spite that angers me;
    My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh.
  • Glendower. My daughter weeps: she will not part with you; 1740
    She'll be a soldier too, she'll to the wars.
  • Mortimer. Good father, tell her that she and my aunt Percy
    Shall follow in your conduct speedily.

[Glendower speaks to her in Welsh, and she answers him in the same]

  • Glendower. She is desperate here; a peevish self-wind harlotry, 1745
    one that no persuasion can do good upon.

[The lady speaks in Welsh]

  • Mortimer. I understand thy looks: that pretty Welsh
    Which thou pour'st down from these swelling heavens
    I am too perfect in; and, but for shame, 1750
    In such a parley should I answer thee.
    [The lady speaks again in Welsh]
    I understand thy kisses and thou mine,
    And that's a feeling disputation:
    But I will never be a truant, love, 1755
    Till I have learned thy language; for thy tongue
    Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penn'd,
    Sung by a fair queen in a summer's bower,
    With ravishing division, to her lute.
  • Glendower. Nay, if you melt, then will she run mad. 1760

[The lady speaks again in Welsh]

  • Mortimer. O, I am ignorance itself in this!
  • Glendower. She bids you on the wanton rushes lay you down
    And rest your gentle head upon her lap,
    And she will sing the song that pleaseth you 1765
    And on your eyelids crown the god of sleep.
    Charming your blood with pleasing heaviness,
    Making such difference 'twixt wake and sleep
    As is the difference betwixt day and night
    The hour before the heavenly-harness'd team 1770
    Begins his golden progress in the east.
  • Mortimer. With all my heart I'll sit and hear her sing:
    By that time will our book, I think, be drawn
  • Glendower. Do so;
    And those musicians that shall play to you 1775
    Hang in the air a thousand leagues from hence,
    And straight they shall be here: sit, and attend.
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down: come,
    quick, quick, that I may lay my head in thy lap.

[The music plays]

  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh;
    And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
    By'r lady, he is a good musician.
  • Lady Percy. Then should you be nothing but musical for you are 1785
    altogether governed by humours. Lie still, ye thief,
    and hear the lady sing in Welsh.

[Here the lady sings a Welsh song]

  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). Not yours, in good sooth! Heart! you swear like a 1800
    comfit-maker's wife. 'Not you, in good sooth,' and
    'as true as I live,' and 'as God shall mend me,' and
    'as sure as day,'
    And givest such sarcenet surety for thy oaths,
    As if thou never walk'st further than Finsbury. 1805
    Swear me, Kate, like a lady as thou art,
    A good mouth-filling oath, and leave 'in sooth,'
    And such protest of pepper-gingerbread,
    To velvet-guards and Sunday-citizens.
    Come, sing. 1810
  • Hotspur (Henry Percy). 'Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be red-breast
    teacher. An the indentures be drawn, I'll away
    within these two hours; and so, come in when ye will.

[Exit]

  • Glendower. Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are as slow
    As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go.
    By this our book is drawn; we'll but seal,
    And then to horse immediately.

[Exeunt]

---
. previous scene      

Act III, Scene 2

London. The palace.

      next scene .
---

[Enter KING HENRY IV, PRINCE HENRY, and others]

  • Henry IV. Lords, give us leave; the Prince of Wales and I
    Must have some private conference; but be near at hand,
    For we shall presently have need of you. 1825
    [Exeunt Lords]
    I know not whether God will have it so,
    For some displeasing service I have done,
    That, in his secret doom, out of my blood
    He'll breed revengement and a scourge for me; 1830
    But thou dost in thy passages of life
    Make me believe that thou art only mark'd
    For the hot vengeance and the rod of heaven
    To punish my mistreadings. Tell me else,
    Could such inordinate and low desires, 1835
    Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts,
    Such barren pleasures, rude society,
    As thou art match'd withal and grafted to,
    Accompany the greatness of thy blood
    And hold their level with thy princely heart? 1840
  • Henry V. So please your majesty, I would I could
    Quit all offences with as clear excuse
    As well as I am doubtless I can purge
    Myself of many I am charged withal:
    Yet such extenuation let me beg, 1845
    As, in reproof of many tales devised,
    which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear,
    By smiling pick-thanks and base news-mongers,
    I may, for some things true, wherein my youth
    Hath faulty wander'd and irregular, 1850
    Find pardon on my true submission.
  • Henry IV. God pardon thee! yet let me wonder, Harry,
    At thy affections, which do hold a wing
    Quite from the flight of all thy ancestors.
    Thy place in council thou hast rudely lost. 1855
    Which by thy younger brother is supplied,
    And art almost an alien to the hearts
    Of all the court and princes of my blood:
    The hope and expectation of thy time
    Is ruin'd, and the soul of every man 1860
    Prophetically doth forethink thy fall.
    Had I so lavish of my presence been,
    So common-hackney'd in the eyes of men,
    So stale and cheap to vulgar company,
    Opinion, that did help me to the crown, 1865
    Had still kept loyal to possession
    And left me in reputeless banishment,
    A fellow of no mark nor likelihood.
    By being seldom seen, I could not stir
    But like a comet I was wonder'd at; 1870
    That men would tell their children 'This is he;'
    Others would say 'Where, which is Bolingbroke?'
    And then I stole all courtesy from heaven,
    And dress'd myself in such humility
    That I did pluck allegiance from men's hearts, 1875
    Loud shouts and salutations from their mouths,
    Even in the presence of the crowned king.
    Thus did I keep my person fresh and new;
    My presence, like a robe pontifical,
    Ne'er seen but wonder'd at: and so my state, 1880
    Seldom but sumptuous, showed like a feast
    And won by rareness such solemnity.
    The skipping king, he ambled up and down
    With shallow jesters and rash bavin wits,
    Soon kindled and soon burnt; carded his state, 1885
    Mingled his royalty with capering fools,
    Had his great name profaned with their scorns
    And gave his countenance, against his name,
    To laugh at gibing boys and stand the push
    Of every beardless vain comparative, 1890
    Grew a companion to the common streets,
    Enfeoff'd himself to popularity;
    That, being daily swallow'd by men's eyes,
    They surfeited with honey and began
    To loathe the taste of sweetness, whereof a little 1895
    More than a little is by much too much.
    So when he had occasion to be seen,
    He was but as the cuckoo is in June,
    Heard, not regarded; seen, but with such eyes
    As, sick and blunted with community, 1900
    Afford no extraordinary gaze,
    Such as is bent on sun-like majesty
    When it shines seldom in admiring eyes;
    But rather drowzed and hung their eyelids down,
    Slept in his face and render'd such aspect 1905
    As cloudy men use to their adversaries,
    Being with his presence glutted, gorged and full.
    And in that very line, Harry, standest thou;
    For thou has lost thy princely privilege
    With vile participation: not an eye 1910
    But is a-weary of thy common sight,
    Save mine, which hath desired to see thee more;
    Which now doth that I would not have it do,
    Make blind itself with foolish tenderness.
  • Henry V. I shall hereafter, my thrice gracious lord, 1915
    Be more myself.
  • Henry IV. For all the world
    As thou art to this hour was Richard then
    When I from France set foot at Ravenspurgh,
    And even as I was then is Percy now. 1920
    Now, by my sceptre and my soul to boot,
    He hath more worthy interest to the state
    Than thou the shadow of succession;
    For of no right, nor colour like to right,
    He doth fill fields with harness in the realm, 1925
    Turns head against the lion's armed jaws,
    And, being no more in debt to years than thou,
    Leads ancient lords and reverend bishops on
    To bloody battles and to bruising arms.
    What never-dying honour hath he got 1930
    Against renowned Douglas! whose high deeds,
    Whose hot incursions and great name in arms
    Holds from all soldiers chief majority
    And military title capital
    Through all the kingdoms that acknowledge Christ: 1935
    Thrice hath this Hotspur, Mars in swathling clothes,
    This infant warrior, in his enterprises
    Discomfited great Douglas, ta'en him once,
    Enlarged him and made a friend of him,
    To fill the mouth of deep defiance up 1940
    And shake the peace and safety of our throne.
    And what say you to this? Percy, Northumberland,
    The Archbishop's grace of York, Douglas, Mortimer,
    Capitulate against us and are up.
    But wherefore do I tell these news to thee? 1945
    Why, Harry, do I tell thee of my foes,
    Which art my near'st and dearest enemy?
    Thou that art like enough, through vassal fear,
    Base inclination and the start of spleen
    To fight against me under Percy's pay, 1950
    To dog his heels and curtsy at his frowns,
    To show how much thou art degenerate.
  • Henry V. Do not think so; you shall not find it so:
    And God forgive them that so much have sway'd
    Your majesty's good thoughts away from me! 1955
    I will redeem all this on Percy's head
    And in the closing of some glorious day
    Be bold to tell you that I am your son;
    When I will wear a garment all of blood
    And stain my favours in a bloody mask, 1960
    Which, wash'd away, shall scour my shame with it:
    And that shall be the day, whene'er it lights,
    That this same child of honour and renown,
    This gallant Hotspur, this all-praised knight,
    And your unthought-of Harry chance to meet. 1965
    For every honour sitting on his helm,
    Would they were multitudes, and on my head
    My shames redoubled! for the time will come,
    That I shall make this northern youth exchange
    His glorious deeds for my indignities. 1970
    Percy is but my factor, good my lord,
    To engross up glorious deeds on my behalf;
    And I will call him to so strict account,
    That he shall render every glory up,
    Yea, even the slightest worship of his time, 1975
    Or I will tear the reckoning from his heart.
    This, in the name of God, I promise here:
    The which if He be pleased I shall perform,
    I do beseech your majesty may salve
    The long-grown wounds of my intemperance: 1980
    If not, the end of life cancels all bands;
    And I will die a hundred thousand deaths
    Ere break the smallest parcel of this vow.
  • Henry IV. A hundred thousand rebels die in this:
    Thou shalt have charge and sovereign trust herein. 1985
    [Enter BLUNT]
    How now, good Blunt? thy looks are full of speed.
  • Blunt. So hath the business that I come to speak of.
    Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word
    That Douglas and the English rebels met 1990
    The eleventh of this month at Shrewsbury
    A mighty and a fearful head they are,
    If promises be kept on every hand,
    As ever offer'd foul play in the state.
  • Henry IV. The Earl of Westmoreland set forth to-day; 1995
    With him my son, Lord John of Lancaster;
    For this advertisement is five days old:
    On Wednesday next, Harry, you shall set forward;
    On Thursday we ourselves will march: our meeting
    Is Bridgenorth: and, Harry, you shall march 2000
    Through Gloucestershire; by which account,
    Our business valued, some twelve days hence
    Our general forces at Bridgenorth shall meet.
    Our hands are full of business: let's away;
    Advantage feeds him fat, while men delay. 2005

[Exeunt]

---
. previous scene      

Act III, Scene 3

Eastcheap. The Boar’s-Head Tavern.

       
---

[Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH]

  • Falstaff. Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this last
    action? do I not bate? do I not dwindle? Why my
    skin hangs about me like an like an old lady's loose 2010
    gown; I am withered like an old apple-john. Well,
    I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some
    liking; I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I
    shall have no strength to repent. An I have not
    forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I 2015
    am a peppercorn, a brewer's horse: the inside of a
    church! Company, villanous company, hath been the
    spoil of me.
  • Lord Bardolph. Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long.
  • Falstaff. Why, there is it: come sing me a bawdy song; make 2020
    me merry. I was as virtuously given as a gentleman
    need to be; virtuous enough; swore little; diced not
    above seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house once
    in a quarter—of an hour; paid money that I
    borrowed, three of four times; lived well and in 2025
    good compass: and now I live out of all order, out
    of all compass.
  • Lord Bardolph. Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must needs
    be out of all compass, out of all reasonable
    compass, Sir John. 2030
  • Falstaff. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life:
    thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lantern in
    the poop, but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art the
    Knight of the Burning Lamp.
  • Falstaff. No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many
    a man doth of a Death's-head or a memento mori: I
    never see thy face but I think upon hell-fire and
    Dives that lived in purple; for there he is in his
    robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way 2040
    given to virtue, I would swear by thy face; my oath
    should be 'By this fire, that's God's angel:' but
    thou art altogether given over; and wert indeed, but
    for the light in thy face, the son of utter
    darkness. When thou rannest up Gadshill in the 2045
    night to catch my horse, if I did not think thou
    hadst been an ignis fatuus or a ball of wildfire,
    there's no purchase in money. O, thou art a
    perpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire-light!
    Thou hast saved me a thousand marks in links and 2050
    torches, walking with thee in the night betwixt
    tavern and tavern: but the sack that thou hast
    drunk me would have bought me lights as good cheap
    at the dearest chandler's in Europe. I have
    maintained that salamander of yours with fire any 2055
    time this two and thirty years; God reward me for
    it!
  • Falstaff. God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heart-burned.
    [Enter Hostess] 2060
    How now, Dame Partlet the hen! have you inquired
    yet who picked my pocket?
  • Hostess Quickly. Why, Sir John, what do you think, Sir John? do you
    think I keep thieves in my house? I have searched,
    I have inquired, so has my husband, man by man, boy 2065
    by boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hair
    was never lost in my house before.
  • Falstaff. Ye lie, hostess: Bardolph was shaved and lost many
    a hair; and I'll be sworn my pocket was picked. Go
    to, you are a woman, go. 2070
  • Hostess Quickly. Who, I? no; I defy thee: God's light, I was never
    called so in mine own house before.
  • Falstaff. Go to, I know you well enough.
  • Hostess Quickly. No, Sir John; You do not know me, Sir John. I know
    you, Sir John: you owe me money, Sir John; and now 2075
    you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I bought
    you a dozen of shirts to your back.
  • Falstaff. Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I have given them away to
    bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them.
  • Hostess Quickly. Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight 2080
    shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, Sir
    John, for your diet and by-drinkings, and money lent
    you, four and twenty pound.
  • Falstaff. He had his part of it; let him pay.
  • Falstaff. How! poor? look upon his face; what call you rich?
    let them coin his nose, let them coin his cheeks:
    Ill not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker
    of me? shall I not take mine case in mine inn but I
    shall have my pocket picked? I have lost a 2090
    seal-ring of my grandfather's worth forty mark.
  • Hostess Quickly. O Jesu, I have heard the prince tell him, I know not
    how oft, that ring was copper!
  • Falstaff. How! the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup: 'sblood, an
    he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he 2095
    would say so.
    [Enter PRINCE HENRY and PETO, marching, and FALSTAFF
    meets them playing on his truncheon like a life]

    How now, lad! is the wind in that door, i' faith?
    must we all march? 2100
  • Henry V. What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How doth thy
    husband? I love him well; he is an honest man.
  • Falstaff. Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.
  • Falstaff. The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras
    and had my pocket picked: this house is turned
    bawdy-house; they pick pockets. 2110
  • Henry V. What didst thou lose, Jack?
  • Falstaff. Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds of
    forty pound apiece, and a seal-ring of my
    grandfather's.
  • Henry V. A trifle, some eight-penny matter. 2115
  • Hostess Quickly. So I told him, my lord; and I said I heard your
    grace say so: and, my lord, he speaks most vilely
    of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said
    he would cudgel you.
  • Falstaff. There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed
    prune; nor no more truth in thee than in a drawn
    fox; and for womanhood, Maid Marian may be the
    deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing, 2125
    go
  • Falstaff. What thing! why, a thing to thank God on.
  • Hostess Quickly. I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou
    shouldst know it; I am an honest man's wife: and, 2130
    setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to
    call me so.
  • Falstaff. Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say
    otherwise.
  • Henry V. An otter, Sir John! Why an otter?
  • Falstaff. Why, she's neither fish nor flesh; a man knows not
    where to have her.
  • Hostess Quickly. Thou art an unjust man in saying so: thou or any 2140
    man knows where to have me, thou knave, thou!
  • Henry V. Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly.
  • Hostess Quickly. So he doth you, my lord; and said this other day you
    ought him a thousand pound.
  • Henry V. Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound? 2145
  • Falstaff. A thousand pound, Ha! a million: thy love is worth
    a million: thou owest me thy love.
  • Hostess Quickly. Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said he would
    cudgel you.
  • Falstaff. Yea, if he said my ring was copper.
  • Henry V. I say 'tis copper: darest thou be as good as thy word now?
  • Falstaff. Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare:
    but as thou art prince, I fear thee as I fear the 2155
    roaring of a lion's whelp.
  • Falstaff. The king is to be feared as the lion: dost thou
    think I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay, an
    I do, I pray God my girdle break. 2160
  • Henry V. O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy
    knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith,
    truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine; it is all
    filled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest
    woman with picking thy pocket! why, thou whoreson, 2165
    impudent, embossed rascal, if there were anything in
    thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums of
    bawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth of
    sugar-candy to make thee long-winded, if thy pocket
    were enriched with any other injuries but these, I 2170
    am a villain: and yet you will stand to if; you will
    not pocket up wrong: art thou not ashamed?
  • Falstaff. Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest in the state of
    innocency Adam fell; and what should poor Jack
    Falstaff do in the days of villany? Thou seest I 2175
    have more flesh than another man, and therefore more
    frailty. You confess then, you picked my pocket?
  • Henry V. It appears so by the story.
  • Falstaff. Hostess, I forgive thee: go, make ready breakfast;
    love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy 2180
    guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honest
    reason: thou seest I am pacified still. Nay,
    prithee, be gone.
    [Exit Hostess]
    Now Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery, 2185
    lad, how is that answered?
  • Henry V. O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to
    thee: the money is paid back again.
  • Falstaff. O, I do not like that paying back; 'tis a double labour.
  • Henry V. I am good friends with my father and may do any thing. 2190
  • Falstaff. Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou doest, and
    do it with unwashed hands too.
  • Henry V. I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.
  • Falstaff. I would it had been of horse. Where shall I find 2195
    one that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of the
    age of two and twenty or thereabouts! I am
    heinously unprovided. Well, God be thanked for
    these rebels, they offend none but the virtuous: I
    laud them, I praise them. 2200
  • Henry V. Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster, to my
    brother John; this to my Lord of Westmoreland.
    [Exit Bardolph] 2205
    Go, Peto, to horse, to horse; for thou and I have
    thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time.
    [Exit Peto]
    Jack, meet me to-morrow in the temple hall at two
    o'clock in the afternoon. 2210
    There shalt thou know thy charge; and there receive
    Money and order for their furniture.
    The land is burning; Percy stands on high;
    And either we or they must lower lie.

[Exit PRINCE HENRY]

  • Falstaff. Rare words! brave world! Hostess, my breakfast, come!
    O, I could wish this tavern were my drum!

[Exit]

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