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She is a woman, therefore may be woo'd;
She is a woman, therefore may be won;
She is Lavinia, therefore must be loved.
What, man! more water glideth by the mill
Than wots the miller of;

      — Titus Andronicus, Act II Scene 1

Love's Labour's Lost

Act I

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Scene 1. The king of Navarre’s park.

Scene 2. The same.

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Act I, Scene 1

The king of Navarre’s park.

      next scene .
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[Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE] [p]and DUMAIN]

  • Ferdinand. Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
    Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
    And then grace us in the disgrace of death; 5
    When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
    The endeavor of this present breath may buy
    That honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
    And make us heirs of all eternity.
    Therefore, brave conquerors,—for so you are, 10
    That war against your own affections
    And the huge army of the world's desires,—
    Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
    Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
    Our court shall be a little Academe, 15
    Still and contemplative in living art.
    You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
    Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
    My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
    That are recorded in this schedule here: 20
    Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
    That his own hand may strike his honour down
    That violates the smallest branch herein:
    If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
    Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too. 25
  • Longaville. I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
    The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
    Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
    Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
  • Dumain. My loving lord, Dumain is mortified: 30
    The grosser manner of these world's delights
    He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
    To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
    With all these living in philosophy.
  • Biron. I can but say their protestation over; 35
    So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
    That is, to live and study here three years.
    But there are other strict observances;
    As, not to see a woman in that term,
    Which I hope well is not enrolled there; 40
    And one day in a week to touch no food
    And but one meal on every day beside,
    The which I hope is not enrolled there;
    And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
    And not be seen to wink of all the day— 45
    When I was wont to think no harm all night
    And make a dark night too of half the day—
    Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
    O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
    Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep! 50
  • Ferdinand. Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.
  • Biron. Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
    I only swore to study with your grace
    And stay here in your court for three years' space.
  • Longaville. You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest. 55
  • Biron. By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
    What is the end of study? let me know.
  • Ferdinand. Why, that to know, which else we should not know.
  • Biron. Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?
  • Ferdinand. Ay, that is study's godlike recompense. 60
  • Biron. Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
    To know the thing I am forbid to know:
    As thus,—to study where I well may dine,
    When I to feast expressly am forbid;
    Or study where to meet some mistress fine, 65
    When mistresses from common sense are hid;
    Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
    Study to break it and not break my troth.
    If study's gain be thus and this be so,
    Study knows that which yet it doth not know: 70
    Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.
  • Ferdinand. These be the stops that hinder study quite
    And train our intellects to vain delight.
  • Biron. Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
    Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain: 75
    As, painfully to pore upon a book
    To seek the light of truth; while truth the while
    Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
    Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
    So, ere you find where light in darkness lies, 80
    Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
    Study me how to please the eye indeed
    By fixing it upon a fairer eye,
    Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
    And give him light that it was blinded by. 85
    Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
    That will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
    Small have continual plodders ever won
    Save base authority from others' books
    These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights 90
    That give a name to every fixed star
    Have no more profit of their shining nights
    Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
    Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
    And every godfather can give a name. 95
  • Ferdinand. How well he's read, to reason against reading!
  • Dumain. Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!
  • Longaville. He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.
  • Biron. The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.
  • Biron. Fit in his place and time.
  • Biron. Something then in rhyme.
  • Ferdinand. Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
    That bites the first-born infants of the spring. 105
  • Biron. Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
    Before the birds have any cause to sing?
    Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
    At Christmas I no more desire a rose
    Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth; 110
    But like of each thing that in season grows.
    So you, to study now it is too late,
    Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
  • Ferdinand. Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.
  • Biron. No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you: 115
    And though I have for barbarism spoke more
    Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
    Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
    And bide the penance of each three years' day.
    Give me the paper; let me read the same; 120
    And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.
  • Ferdinand. How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!
  • Biron. [Reads] 'Item, That no woman shall come within a
    mile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?
  • Biron. Let's see the penalty.
    [Reads]
    'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?
  • Biron. Sweet lord, and why? 130
  • Longaville. To fright them hence with that dread penalty.
  • Biron. A dangerous law against gentility!
    [Reads]
    'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
    within the term of three years, he shall endure such 135
    public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
    This article, my liege, yourself must break;
    For well you know here comes in embassy
    The French king's daughter with yourself to speak—
    A maid of grace and complete majesty— 140
    About surrender up of Aquitaine
    To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
    Therefore this article is made in vain,
    Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
  • Ferdinand. What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot. 145
  • Biron. So study evermore is overshot:
    While it doth study to have what it would
    It doth forget to do the thing it should,
    And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
    'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost. 150
  • Ferdinand. We must of force dispense with this decree;
    She must lie here on mere necessity.
  • Biron. Necessity will make us all forsworn
    Three thousand times within this three years' space;
    For every man with his affects is born, 155
    Not by might master'd but by special grace:
    If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
    I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
    So to the laws at large I write my name:
    [Subscribes] 160
    And he that breaks them in the least degree
    Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
    Suggestions are to other as to me;
    But I believe, although I seem so loath,
    I am the last that will last keep his oath. 165
    But is there no quick recreation granted?
  • Ferdinand. Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
    With a refined traveller of Spain;
    A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
    That hath a mint of phrases in his brain; 170
    One whom the music of his own vain tongue
    Doth ravish like enchanting harmony;
    A man of complements, whom right and wrong
    Have chose as umpire of their mutiny:
    This child of fancy, that Armado hight, 175
    For interim to our studies shall relate
    In high-born words the worth of many a knight
    From tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.
    How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
    But, I protest, I love to hear him lie 180
    And I will use him for my minstrelsy.
  • Biron. Armado is a most illustrious wight,
    A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.
  • Longaville. Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;
    And so to study, three years is but short. 185

[Enter DULL with a letter, and COSTARD]

  • Dull. Which is the duke's own person?
  • Biron. This, fellow: what wouldst?
  • Dull. I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his
    grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person 190
    in flesh and blood.
  • Dull. Signior Arme—Arme—commends you. There's villany
    abroad: this letter will tell you more.
  • Costard. Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me. 195
  • Ferdinand. A letter from the magnificent Armado.
  • Biron. How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.
  • Longaville. A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!
  • Biron. To hear? or forbear laughing?
  • Longaville. To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to 200
    forbear both.
  • Biron. Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
    climb in the merriness.
  • Costard. The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
    The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner. 205
  • Costard. In manner and form following, sir; all those three:
    I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
    her upon the form, and taken following her into the
    park; which, put together, is in manner and form 210
    following. Now, sir, for the manner,—it is the
    manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,—
    in some form.
  • Biron. For the following, sir?
  • Costard. As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend 215
    the right!
  • Ferdinand. Will you hear this letter with attention?
  • Biron. As we would hear an oracle.
  • Costard. Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and 220
    sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
    and body's fostering patron.'
  • Costard. Not a word of Costard yet.
  • Costard. It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in 225
    telling true, but so.
  • Costard. Be to me and every man that dares not fight!
  • Costard. Of other men's secrets, I beseech you. 230
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
    melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
    to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
    air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
    walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when 235
    beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
    to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
    for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
    I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
    for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter 240
    that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
    from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
    here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
    but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
    and by east from the west corner of thy curious- 245
    knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
    swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,'—
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'—
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'that shallow vassal,'—
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'—
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy 255
    established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
    which with,—O, with—but with this I passion to say
    wherewith,—
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a 260
    female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a
    woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on,
    have sent to thee, to receive the meed of
    punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony
    Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and 265
    estimation.'
  • Dull. 'Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.
  • Ferdinand. [Reads] 'For Jaquenetta,—so is the weaker vessel
    called which I apprehended with the aforesaid
    swain,—I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury; 270
    and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring
    her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted
    and heart-burning heat of duty.
    DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'
  • Biron. This is not so well as I looked for, but the best 275
    that ever I heard.
  • Ferdinand. Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
    you to this?
  • Costard. Sir, I confess the wench.
  • Ferdinand. Did you hear the proclamation? 280
  • Costard. I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
    the marking of it.
  • Ferdinand. It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
    with a wench.
  • Costard. I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel. 285
  • Ferdinand. Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'
  • Costard. This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.
  • Ferdinand. It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'
  • Costard. If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.
  • Ferdinand. This maid will not serve your turn, sir. 290
  • Costard. This maid will serve my turn, sir.
  • Ferdinand. Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
    a week with bran and water.
  • Costard. I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.
  • Ferdinand. And Don Armado shall be your keeper. 295
    My Lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er:
    And go we, lords, to put in practise that
    Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.

[Exeunt FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN]

  • Biron. I'll lay my head to any good man's hat, 300
    These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
    Sirrah, come on.
  • Costard. I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
    taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
    girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of 305
    prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
    till then, sit thee down, sorrow!

[Exeunt]

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. previous scene      

Act I, Scene 2

The same.

       
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[Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH]

  • Moth. A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
  • Moth. No, no; O Lord, sir, no.
  • Moth. By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior.
  • Moth. Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal?
  • Don Adriano de Armado. I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton 320
    appertaining to thy young days, which we may
    nominate tender.
  • Moth. And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your
    old time, which we may name tough.
  • Moth. How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or
    I apt, and my saying pretty?
  • Moth. Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
  • Moth. Speak you this in my praise, master?
  • Moth. I will praise an eel with the same praise.
  • Moth. That an eel is quick. 335
  • Moth. I am answered, sir.
  • Moth. [Aside] He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.
  • Moth. You may do it in an hour, sir.
  • Moth. How many is one thrice told?
  • Moth. You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir. 345
  • Moth. Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of
    deuce-ace amounts to.
  • Moth. Which the base vulgar do call three.
  • Moth. Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here
    is three studied, ere ye'll thrice wink: and how
    easy it is to put 'years' to the word 'three,' and 355
    study three years in two words, the dancing horse
    will tell you.
  • Moth. To prove you a cipher.
  • Don Adriano de Armado. I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is 360
    base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
    base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour
    of affection would deliver me from the reprobate
    thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and
    ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised 365
    courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should
    outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men
    have been in love?
  • Moth. Hercules, master.
  • Don Adriano de Armado. Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name 370
    more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good
    repute and carriage.
  • Moth. Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great
    carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back
    like a porter: and he was in love. 375
  • Don Adriano de Armado. O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do
    excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in
    carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson's
    love, my dear Moth?
  • Moth. A woman, master. 380
  • Moth. Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
  • Moth. Of the sea-water green, sir.
  • Moth. As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
  • Don Adriano de Armado. Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a
    love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason
    for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
  • Moth. It was so, sir; for she had a green wit. 390
  • Moth. Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under
    such colours.
  • Moth. My father's wit and my mother's tongue, assist me! 395
  • Moth. If she be made of white and red,
    Her faults will ne'er be known,
    For blushing cheeks by faults are bred 400
    And fears by pale white shown:
    Then if she fear, or be to blame,
    By this you shall not know,
    For still her cheeks possess the same
    Which native she doth owe. 405
    A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
    white and red.
  • Moth. The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
    three ages since: but I think now 'tis not to be 410
    found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for
    the writing nor the tune.
  • Don Adriano de Armado. I will have that subject newly writ o'er, that I may
    example my digression by some mighty precedent.
    Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the 415
    park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.
  • Moth. [Aside] To be whipped; and yet a better love than
    my master.
  • Moth. And that's great marvel, loving a light wench. 420
  • Moth. Forbear till this company be past.

[Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA]

  • Dull. Sir, the duke's pleasure is, that you keep Costard
    safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight 425
    nor no penance; but a' must fast three days a week.
    For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she
    is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well.
  • Dull. Come, Jaquenetta, away!

[Exeunt DULL and JAQUENETTA]

  • Costard. Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a 445
    full stomach.
  • Costard. I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they
    are but lightly rewarded.
  • Moth. Come, you transgressing slave; away!
  • Costard. Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.
  • Moth. No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
  • Costard. Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation
    that I have seen, some shall see. 455
  • Moth. What shall some see?
  • Costard. Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon.
    It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their
    words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank
    God I have as little patience as another man; and 460
    therefore I can be quiet.

[Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD]

  • Don Adriano de Armado. I do affect the very ground, which is base, where
    her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which
    is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which 465
    is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And
    how can that be true love which is falsely
    attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil:
    there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so
    tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was 470
    Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit.
    Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club;
    and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard's rapier.
    The first and second cause will not serve my turn;
    the passado he respects not, the duello he regards 475
    not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his
    glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier!
    be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea,
    he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme,
    for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; 480
    write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.

[Exit]

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